10/31/2026
Are you, like me, a Spooky Month denier? Did you hollow your whole we**ie out last night? Are you more inclined to wear your slutty mushroom costume in a less hectic setting? Are you living in the same 2026 as the rest of us and simply sick of existing?
Then Famous Last Words’ Low-Key Ass Halloween is for you.
No DJ. No fake spiderwebs. No sweaty, Spirit Halloween costume dance party Lycra-scented nightmare.
We’ll have some spooky music, sure. (Courtesy of a Dead Man’s Bones playlist.) We’ll have some scary movies. We’ll even have candy. The GOOD candy.
What we won’t have is pressure.
And, so as not to be total curmudgeons, anyone in costume gets their first shot on us. If “Thriller” happens to come on during the random shuffle, a round for the whole bar. We don’t make the rules. Except we absolutely do.
Our Halloween specialty frozens include:
BAD APPLE — Our boozy take on the classic caramel apple. Bourbon salted caramel. C***r
CANDY FROM STRANGERS — A chocolatey, peanut-butter-whiskey nod to the undisputed king of Halloween candy: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Come in. Take a load off. Wear a costume. Don’t wear a costume. Sit in a corner and contemplate the collapse of civilization. We’re not judging.
Have a real scare when you realize you’re only weeks away from having to see your family for Thanksgiving.
Famous Last Words. Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.
Halloween for people who have had quite enough already.
