10/12/2026
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
A PROCLAMATION OF GMORK DAY
Let it be known throughout the land that Gmork Day shall be celebrated on the 8th day of November, from the hour of twelve until six in the evening, at Forest & Main Brewing Co.
All traditional Gmork Day festivities shall be observed, and merriment shall be had by all!
BE IT ANNOUNCED: The 2026 vintage of Gmork, our barrel-aged Imperial Stout, shall emerge from the brewery cellars and be made available to the thirsty masses. Let none say the day has passed without proper libation!
ATTENTION, OWNERS OF HOUNDS! A grand contest shall be held to crown the dog most resembling the fearsome Gmork himself. Bring forth your four-legged companions, adorn them in their finest Gmork-inspired attire, and vie for the honor of being named “Most Like Gmork!”
FINE GOODS AND WARES SHALL BE OFFERED! New garments and accoutrements bearing the mark of Gmork shall be available for purchase, including sweatshirts, hats, and drinking glasses. Dress thyself accordingly!
LET NO BELLY GO EMPTY! Short Bus shall be on hand to furnish the gathered celebrants with hot dogs of various varieties, fit for the hungry and the hale.
And lo! For those who favor sport alongside their stout, the Philadelphia Eagles shall be broadcast upon the television, that the people may cheer, groan, and increase the merriment together.
So spread the word, summon thy hounds, ready thy thirst, and gather with fellow revelers for a day of stout, strange beasts, fine wares, hot dogs, and football!
BY ORDER OF THE GMORK DAY PROCLAMATION.