30/10/2026
🍺🇬🇧 WELL, WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY TO BE A BRITISH PUB OWNER! 🇬🇧🍺
We’ve been watching today’s Budget with great excitement, wondering what wonderful surprises the Government might have in store for us hardworking small business owners.
And once again, we haven’t been disappointed! 😂
👏 Minimum wage going up! Fantastic! We’re delighted for our staff. Now, if someone could just explain where we’re supposed to find the extra money, that would be marvellous.
👏 Alcohol duty going up! Brilliant! Because obviously the best way to encourage people back into British pubs is to make drinking more expensive.
👏 VAT staying at 20%! Phew! For a moment there, we thought the Government might actually give hospitality a proper break. That was a close one!
👏 Business rates relief! Lovely! A bit of help with one bill while the others continue arriving like an Amazon delivery driver on commission.
👏 Energy bills! Still keeping us entertained. Who doesn’t enjoy opening an electricity bill with the same sense of dread as opening their GCSE results?
But fear not! Apparently, we’re being given some “breathing space.”
Which is wonderful, because breathing is currently one of the few things we can still do without being taxed. Although we probably shouldn’t give them ideas. 🤣
Meanwhile, we’ll continue doing what we do best…
🍺 Working ridiculously long hours.
🍔 Serving good food.
❤️ Supporting our local community.
💷 Employing local people.
🎶 Putting on entertainment.
😊 Smiling sweetly when someone tells us a pint was £2.50 in 1997.
And, of course, being told that if we just stopped buying takeaway coffees and avocados, we’d probably be millionaires by now.
The great British pub.
Apparently a treasured national institution, right up until someone has to help keep one open.
Anyway, enough moaning. We’ve got b**r to pour, food to cook, bills to pay and approximately 47 different people waiting for a slice of the same £5 note.
Cheers to the Budget! 🥂
We’d raise a glass, but we’re waiting to see if we can afford to fill it.
Still open. Still smiling. Still wondering why we didn’t just buy a caravan in Spain. 🇪🇸🤣