03/11/2026
🤣🍻 THINGS YOU ONLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU RUN THE CROWN! 🍻🤣
People think running The Crown is all about pouring pints, watching the football, having a laugh and chatting to the locals…
IF ONLY THEY KNEW! 😂
After five years running this wonderful madhouse in Chinnor, we reckon we’ve seen just about everything. And trust us, you couldn’t make half of it up!
🤣 THE GREAT CROWN ROBBERIES – Glasses, toilet rolls, decorations, b**r mats… If it isn’t screwed down, there’s a good chance it’ll end up in someone’s house! We’re just waiting for someone to walk out with a table and chair! 🎯
🍺 THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT – Even when they’re wrong. Very wrong. Spectacularly wrong. But apparently, because they’ve been drinking here since 1987, that makes them the managing director! 😂
🚽 THE TOILETS – WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENS IN THERE?! Honestly, some of the sights we’ve witnessed deserve their own episode of Crimewatch. There’s a toilet brush for a reason, people! 🤢🤣
🏠 THE ONES WHO WON’T GO HOME – It’s midnight. The music’s off. The lights are on. We’ve collected every glass, cleaned the tables and practically got our pyjamas on… “Any chance of one more?” NO, MICHAEL! GO HOME! 😂
🗣️ THE CHINNOR GRAPEVINE – Forget Facebook, if you want to know what’s happening in Chinnor, just stand behind The Crown bar for half an hour! We’ve heard things about people that we’re pretty sure they don’t even know themselves! 🤣
🛋️ THE UNPAID THERAPISTS – Marriage problems? Family arguments? Relationship advice? Neighbour disputes? Apparently Craig and Jodie are qualified to deal with absolutely everything. All while changing a barrel and pouring six pints of Guinness! 🍺
🏦 THE CROWN BANK OF CHINNOR – “Can I owe you until Friday?” “Can you change this £50?” “Can you keep hold of my keys?” “Can you lend me a phone charger?” We’re a pub, not a bank, storage facility or bloody Argos! 😂
🤦 THE COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT – The music’s too loud. The music’s too quiet. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The football’s on. The football’s NOT on. Someone’s sitting in MY seat. And apparently, we’re personally responsible for the British weather! 🌧️
🎯 THE SPORTING EXPERTS – We’ve got more football managers, rugby coaches, darts professionals and referees in The Crown than Sky Sports has presenters! And strangely enough, they’re all experts after six pints! 😂
🍗 WING WEDNESDAY MADNESS – Who knew selling chicken wings for 50p would turn our kitchen into an industrial production line?! Hundreds of wings flying out, sauce everywhere, and someone still asking if we can do wings without the chicken! 🤣
📱 THE PHONE CALLS – “Are you open?” Yes. “Are you showing the football?” Yes. “Have you got Guinness?” YES. “Are you busy?” Well, we were doing alright until the phone rang for the 47th time! 😂
🧹 THE JOB DESCRIPTION – Landlord, chef, cleaner, plumber, electrician, bouncer, counsellor, DJ, referee, lost property officer, taxi coordinator, stock controller and professional finder of things customers have lost while sitting on them!
And then there’s the classic…
“YOU’VE GOT THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, YOU JUST STAND THERE DRINKING ALL DAY!” 🤦🤣
But do you know what?
❤️ WE WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD.
The laughter, the friendships, the characters, the community, the unforgettable nights and the absolute chaos that comes with running a proper village pub.
The Crown wouldn’t be The Crown without all of you. Even the awkward ones, the ones who never go home and the ones who think they own their favourite bar stool! 😂
We love our little corner of Chinnor, and we’re lucky to have such a brilliant bunch of customers who make every day different.
Although, ask us again at 1am on a Saturday when someone’s blocked the toilet and another person’s asking for one last pint! 🤣🍻
Love from Craig, Jodie and all the long suffering team at The Crown! ❤️
P.S. PLEASE STOP NICKING THE PINT GLASSES. WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. 👀🤣
Before anyone gets offended, it’s just a bit of light hearted pub banter! We love you all really! 🫣
