24/09/2026
Right.
Apparently, pubs are “too expensive.” 😬🥵💰
❌ Not at the Hilltop & Rock and Heifer all our none premium draft b**r just £4 or under 👍
•Carling ✅
•Carling Darkfruit ✅
•Aspall c***r ✅
•Coors ✅
•Caffrey’s ✅
Usually from someone clutching a £6 artisan coffee, scrolling TikTok on a £1,200 phone, while explaining how £6 for a pint is daylight robbery. 💎
❌ Stop this nonsense! 3 pints for £10 on a Monday 👍
£3 a pint on a Sunday 🤩
Let me explain this slowly…
You’re not paying £6 for “b**r”! 🍺
❌ Not for any pint at the Hilltop or Rock and Heifer 😉
You’re paying for an experience, for a community, for…
💸 The heating being on before you arrive.
❌ We have a loverly log fire 🔥
💸 The lights staying on after you leave.
❌ We have light saving 💡
💸 The loos being scrubbed (you’re welcome).
❌ That kinda comes with the job
💸 The glasses being washed.
❌ Glass washer does ours 🥰
💸 The staff being paid.
❌ They deserve it 😙
💸 The licences. The insurance. The rates. The tax.
❌ Hefty like ..
💸 The little bite the card machine takes every single time you tap.
❌ We don’t have bad rates 🙃
💸 And the fact that when the cellar floods at 11pm on a Tuesday… it’s me in wellies.
❌ Amazing what an automatic water pump does for your life 🤩
You’re not just buying a drink. 🍷
❌ Nope your also getting Katie’s smiley face 😀
You’re renting a space to exist in public without being moved on. To socialise. To make friends. To feel welcome. To belong. ❤️
❌ And dogs don’t forget dog meets 🐕
Go and sit in the middle of ASDA for three hours debating VAR and see how long that lasts. Try getting banter from a self-checkout. 😅
❌ Would be fun but Abbis attitude funnier 🥳
Pubs aren’t competing with supermarket booze. 🛒
❌ You can’t sit with your dog for a pint in Tesco 🥺
We’re competing with the idea that community should be free. 🏘️❤️
❌ £6 a pint bit steep tho 😟
And here’s the bit I find fascinating… ❌ Hilltop & The Rock and Heifer are so cheap ?
The same people who mourn “the death of the British pub” are the ones who treat us like overpriced off-licences. 🍾
❌ No moaning in our joint 😎
We don’t sell b**r. 🍺
❌ We do and it’s pretty cheap 😘
We sell:
👉 First dates that turned into marriages. ❌ and the divorce parties 🥳
👉 Wakes where the real stories came out.
👉 “Ok, just one” that became the best night of the year.
👉 Somewhere to decompress when the world’s had enough of you and you’ve had enough of the world.
❌ Don’t forget the Goss ! It’s like a real Eastenders in here 🤪
We sell a place to not be alone. 🫂 ❌ Unless you want to be .. we do have a cupboard🤓
If you want cheap: stay on your sofa with a four-pack of lukewarm cans 🛋️🥵🍻
❌ That’s about as much fun as Tiddy with an hang over 🤨
But PLEASE don’t confuse low cost with value! 🤷♂️ ❌ Nope we sell the same b**r 🍻
Anyway, I’ll be over here - overcharging for heating, chairs, and human interaction. 🔥🪑🤗
❌ Not us though 🤭
Tag a mate who needs to stop being a tight-arse and buy a round! You know the one. 😂👇
❌ Can afford to buy a round in this pub 🍺
