12/31/2025
DIVE BAR COMMANDMENTS
Rules of the Dive Bar world written in tequila and poor decisions over the years passed down through the secret order of dive bar bartenders. Just kidding i made them up, but they hold true !
1 Don’t snap, whistle, or yell YO BARTENDER we heard you, we’re just emotionally buffering.
2 Tip like you plan on coming back. Tip like trash and you’ll get basic service with a side of remembering your face forever.
3 It’s my birthday isn’t a reason to request a free drink it’s just information Dangerous information.
4 Barstools aren’t footrests, step ladders, or therapy chairs. Sit normal or stand somewhere else.
5 If it has 9 ingredients and a smoked rosemary garnish you’re in the wrong building.
6 Don’t argue with the bouncer. He doesn’t debate He relocates.
7 Keep politics, religion, and your toxic relationship updates off the bar top.
8 Don’t ask what time we close. We close when the universe says so and/or when you finally leave.
9 I’m not watching 47 blurry photos to confirm your story. I’m a bartender, not a judge on Dateline.
10 Drink water It’s free Regret is also free, but water helps.
11 Don’t start a tab with $6 in the bank and then turn your card off.
12 Be cool to the staff. We control the music, the mood, and how strong one shot feels.
DBM out !!!!
