09/07/2026
FINAL TRANSMISSION FROM THE BRIDGE ⛵🔥
DING-DONG.
Attention all remaining degenerates.
This is your final Sunday transmission.
The Rib Cook-Off crowd has eaten.
The concerts are underway.
The Burners are preparing to crawl back from the desert.
And tomorrow is Labor Day, which means many of you have been granted one additional day to avoid becoming productive members of society.
Use it wisely.
SIN Night is underway.
Yacht Rock remains dangerously smooth.
And if you’ve reached this hour still wondering what to drink…
Order a Royal Hawaiian
A blend of gin, pineapple, lemon, and orgeat.
Because you’ve survived another week.
You deserve the good rum.
All remaining passengers: report to the bar.