07/19/2026
To the captain of the bass boat who apparently thought the narrow channel was the Daytona 500:
Congratulations on saving approximately 11 seconds while creating wakes for everyone else. We're all very impressed.
The channel is for getting in and out safely, not setting a personal speed record. Slow down. There are other people trying to enjoy the river too.
If this reminds you of someone, maybe send it to them. They know who they are.