08/11/2026
I’ve been in Portugal for four weeks now, and the word that keeps coming up is bittersweet.
Portugal has always been where my heart feels most at home. But this year, being here feels different.
My love story with Celso started here. There are memories tucked into so many places. And man… do I feel everything.
The joy.
The sadness.
The gratitude.
The emptiness.
The beauty of being here, alongside the ache of wishing he was here to experience it with us.
Grief has taught me that two things can be true at the same time.
I can laugh until my stomach hurts and still miss him with every part of me.
I can feel incredibly grateful for this life and also have days when I don’t have the energy or motivation to keep moving forward.
There are days when I remind myself that I have to live. For myself. For Gabriel. And for the love of my life, who would want nothing more than for us to keep living fully.
But some days, that feels really fu***ng hard.
These past few weeks have given me a lot of space to reflect on what I want my life to feel like now.
Not what it’s supposed to look like.
Not what I thought it would be.
But what I actually want it to feel like.
I haven’t figured it all out yet. I’m not sure I’m supposed to.
But little by little, I’m getting clearer.
Clearer on what I want for myself.
Clearer on the life I want to create for Gabriel.
Clearer on the dreams Celso and I had for our family, and which pieces of those dreams I still want to carry forward.
Maybe this chapter isn’t about having all the answers.
Maybe it’s about learning how to hold the joy and the emptiness in the same heart… and still choosing to live.
Something is shifting.
Stay tuned. 🤍🇵🇹
