08/09/2024
IS A COSTCO CHICKEN REALLY THE HILL YOU WANT TO DIE ON?
I was recently at Costco with a friend and she wanted to pick up a couple chickens. When we got to chicken land, there weren't any out and the wait would be about twenty minutes. Frankly at this age, and pain and tiredness, there really aren't too many things I would wait 20 minutes for. Like an ancient shark, I've got to keep on moving for fear that when I stop, I'll just sink to the bottom.
I went off in search of "way more important things" like people handing out free food samples.
Once satiated. I headed back to check on the chicken status. Thank god the line was moving and 20 people or so were marching dutifully toward the hot chickens. They would grab their 1-3 chickens and then march off. I chuckled to myself as the scene reminded me of the Soup N**i episode of Seinfeld fame.
Suddenly in a brazen breach of etiquette a young man, mid twenties, dashed straight to the front of the line and grabbed a chicken. As he walked past me I told him "Well, that was pretty damn rude." Needless to say that was the high point of our conversation. I told him he should either apologize to all the people in line or put the chicken back and go to the end of the line. We devolved from there and I distinctly remember being called an "old man". Ow, that's a little hard to take but in all honesty, true. He then got in my face, poked me in the chest and said, "That's the problem with your generation". He didn't get past that when I asked him to meet me outside. I'd sized him up. Age...definitely favored him. Orneriness...I figured I had him on that one. Stamina...Well, he is in his 20's. Size...Slightly bigger than me. So...One out of four in my favor, I liked my chances.
We agreed to meet outside. I went and waited and waited and waited. I finally went back in and found him shopping. He said, I'm not gonna fight you over a chicken, I put it back". I scanned his cart and sure enough, no chicken.
Maybe there is hope for HIS generation after all...
With hindsight, I thought is that really the hill I want to die on? I thought about it and decided, "Yeah why not". Something's going to finally do me in. May as well go out with honor.