11/10/2026
Love this.lol
Being a dive bar bartender can be WILD. We know who’s cheating, who’s broke, who’s lying, and who’s buying drinks for somebody they’re gonna call a mistake tomorrow. You tell your spouse you’re working late, tell your boss you’re sick, then sit at the bar and tell us you’re just an honest person. B@tch, your entire personality needs a fact checker. I’ve watched three people who are sleeping with each other shake hands like they’re meeting for the first time. Meanwhile I’m cutting limes like I don’t know the entire f@cking plot, I clocked in to sling drinks, and now I’m the emergency contact for twelve grown adults who shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions without a helmet. Y’all don’t need another shot. You need a court appointed adult. Your secrets are safe cause that is the bartender code, but your card declined and I’m running out of reasons to respect you.
DBM OUT!!!
Photo credits to -Chay Whitlock
