11/05/2026
πͺΏ HONK HONK, YOU DEGENERATES! π»π
π¨ BREAKING NEWS FROM THE FLOCK BOSS! π¨
Apparently, MISSY HAS A BIRTHDAY TODAY! π
I checked with management, and unfortunately, we're keeping her. π
Another year older, another year of questionable decisionsβ¦ and judging by this picture, most of those decisions came in a six-pack. πΊπ
Now listen up, you thirsty little heathens!
TONIGHT FROM 5β7 PM AT THE FAR CORNER, we're celebrating the woman, the myth, the walking HR violationβ¦ MISSY! π₯³
Come buy her a drink, slap a birthday wish on her, and remind her how lucky she is to have friends who are just as mentally unstable as she is.
π Cake? Maybe.
π» Alcohol? Obviously.
π€¦ββοΈ Bad decisions? She's already dressed for them.
π Birthday kisses? Take a number. She has standards. Low ones, but standards.
And for the love of all things feathered, DON'T ASK HER HOW OLD SHE IS!
We've already counted the rings, checked the warranty, and contacted the Smithsonian. They're not interested. π€£
π THE FAR CORNER β 975 N Colorado Ave, Brush
β° TONIGHT | 5β7 PM
Get your asses down here and wish Missy a Happy Birthday!
Because nothing says "we love you" quite like showing up uninvited, drinking in your honor, and refusing to leave.
πͺΏ FOLLOW THE FLOCK TO THE FAR CORNER!
β Flora, Head of Public Relations, Unsolicited Opinions & General Bu****it. π