The Beach at Birch Bay

The Beach at Birch Bay The World's Only 5 Star Dive Bar™

06/12/2026

More shade!

06/11/2026

For years, Trivia Mike had one dream: to become Shrek. Not dress up as Shrek. Not play Shrek in a community theater production. Actually become Shrek. Mike was convinced that if he spent enough time in muddy ditches behind Birch Bay, ate enough onions, and replaced his daily water intake with Pabst Blue Ribbon, some sort of magical animated transformation would occur. He spent months wandering local wetlands carrying a 12-pack of PBR under one arm and a sack of onions under the other, loudly yelling, “GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!” at confused seagulls and passing kayakers. Unfortunately, the only transformation anyone noticed was that Mike began smelling like a combination of onions, wet grass, and discount beer.

Things reached their peak when Mike attempted to join a traveling Shrek-themed event. The organizers politely explained that Shrek was a copyrighted animated character and, more importantly, Mike was obviously a human. Mike disagreed and arrived with a three-ring binder titled Evidence That I Am An Ogre. Inside were receipts for 47 onions, photographs of himself emerging from a muddy puddle while holding a PBR, and sworn statements from friends claiming he was “surprisingly ogre-like after six beers.” The judges remained unconvinced. Today, Mike has mostly accepted his fate as a human, although visitors to Birch Bay occasionally report hearing a voice from the marshes shouting, “I’m not Mike! I’m Shrek with a driver’s license!” Moments later, a green-clad figure can sometimes be seen disappearing into the fog carrying a sack of onions, a case of PBR, and dreams that refuse to die.

A mid-week acoustic show on the Birch Bay Lawn Care stage with Ron Hardt.
06/10/2026

A mid-week acoustic show on the Birch Bay Lawn Care stage with Ron Hardt.

The improvements continue on The World’s Only 5 Star Dive Bar™!This section of the patio has been moved back to create a...
06/09/2026

The improvements continue on The World’s Only 5 Star Dive Bar™!

This section of the patio has been moved back to create a new storage area. The patio is also being expanded to the east, creating a fenced, outdoor “beer garden” area for summer.

Weather is supposed to be very summer-like just in time for the weekend!
06/08/2026

Weather is supposed to be very summer-like just in time for the weekend!

06/07/2026

A Sunday afternoon of resort rock with the Beach Bums! 3:00 show time.

06/06/2026

Let’s do this!
BlindFate Saturday at 4:00.

The Beach Bar, in partnership with the American Legion Peace Arch Post 86 Blaine WA and Sahara Pizza Birch Bay, present ...
06/05/2026

The Beach Bar, in partnership with the American Legion Peace Arch Post 86 Blaine WA and Sahara Pizza Birch Bay, present the "Battle of the Bay" Benefit Golf Tournament on July 14 at Loomis Trail Golf Course. Proceeds from the tournament will go to the Blaine Food Bank and American Legion Post 86 Lift Project.

You can fill out this form and submit to The Beach Bar. Online tournament registration is also available online: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeSmtHC5pgo3-y1wi18YCLOom9C1QSszV2BOUvVNSkbVgWgpQ/viewform?usp=sharing&ouid=101721458558437170935

Lost at Last rides in for a 6:00 show time Friday night at The World’s Only 5 Star Dive Bar™!
06/05/2026

Lost at Last rides in for a 6:00 show time Friday night at The World’s Only 5 Star Dive Bar™!

When Trivia Mike decided to launch a stand-up comedy career, he studied every grainy late-night clip he could find of Ro...
06/04/2026

When Trivia Mike decided to launch a stand-up comedy career, he studied every grainy late-night clip he could find of Rodney Dangerfield. He bought a blue suit, a red tie, practiced tugging at his collar, and spent hours in front of a mirror perfecting the wide-eyed look of a man who had just discovered his bar tab included everyone else’s drinks. Convinced he had cracked the comedy code, Mike strutted onto the stage and confidently announced, “I tell ya, I get no—” before forgetting the rest of the line and panicking. In a moment of desperation, he blurted out what he thought would become his signature catchphrase: “Respect me F #@^*%S!” The crowd sat in stunned silence, unsure if they were at a comedy show, a labor dispute, or the beginning of a hostage negotiation.

Undeterred, Mike doubled down. He printed the slogan on t-shirts, coffee mugs, and, for reasons nobody could explain, a limited run of commemorative garden flags. Unfortunately, audiences never embraced it the way Rodney’s fans embraced “No Respect.” Focus groups described Mike’s phrase as “aggressive,” “confusing,” and “something my uncle yells at Thanksgiving before getting asked to leave.” To this day, comedy historians agree that Rodney Dangerfield got no respect, but Trivia Mike somehow managed to get even less.

Trivia with Mike, Thursday nights at 6:00.

Address

7876 Birch Bay Drive
Blaine, WA
98230

Opening Hours

Thursday 4pm - 9pm
Friday 4pm - 10pm
Saturday 12pm - 9pm
Sunday 12pm - 7pm

Telephone

+13603928403

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Beach at Birch Bay posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Establishment

Send a message to The Beach at Birch Bay:

Shortcuts

Share

Category