08/06/2026
It's been almost two weeks since we unexpectedly said goodbye to my dad. Two weeks and I feel like I've lived several different lives as I navigate the world without him and what that means moving forward.
So far, I know that he's with me. I know that he's with my siblings, his grandchildren, and the people who he loved deeply in this life. Music has always been our connection, and I can feel him with me when I listen to certain songs, when I look out at the water and wildflowers, when I dance and cry in the rain. I've never been so grateful for so much rain in the summer..it feels weird. It feels surreal to know how much I've changed in only two weeks. I guess that's grief though, you know?
Even 3 years ago, I don't think I truly understood what grief meant...and now I feel like I live here. I'm renting a room in this house of grief. But I think I'm okay with staying for a while..just remembering and honoring and crying and feeling. It's a hard place to be, truly the hardest fu***ng place tbh...but I'm finding my ways to stay grateful, to find peace and grace during my stay here.
My dad was always a super religious dude, he was a pastor for 30 years and I always looked up to him for the way he helped and worked with people. I'm so grateful I got to spend the last 4 years listening to him tell me how The Bright Side, my small business that I've built from the ground up more than once, is my ministry. He said this is your ministry and your purpose, you're doing it. And I believe him.
At this point, I'm not entirely ready to be in work mode, but this is my reality, you know? Reality as a small business owner, reality of being a single mom with a mortgage and bills. It's honestly kind of s**t, but I'm grateful that THIS is my reality. That my work and my business is focused on serving an amazing family of customers and community who love and support me🤍
And you know what I would really love? Maybe instead of sad condolences, let's smile and hug and find joy and listen to music and JUST BE this weekend, you know? I feel like my dad would love that for me ☀️