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12/02/2023

Up (2009)
Director: Pete Docter
Requested by SuperAsdke (!req Up 2009 [8:30 --image-url https(://)i(.)imgur(.)com/U5nypl5(.)png --image-size 1.4 --image-position 17,3] --color 50 --brightness -20 --contrast 100 --sharpness 50) (16 hours ago)

21/09/2022

Incredible.

FFXIV got a small update a few days ago. Nothing huge; they basically added a few side stories they didn’t add in May be...
13/06/2022

FFXIV got a small update a few days ago. Nothing huge; they basically added a few side stories they didn’t add in May because they didn’t want them to distract from the main story update. But I really love the side stories they added. My favorite of them has the protagonist taking a former villain to meet minor characters from the Endwalker story. I’ll be discussing it here, so expect spoilers for Endwalker and for the new update.
For reasons that make sense in context but would take…too much time to explain, the villain wants to understand how these characters have managed to persist in the face of the tragedies that befell them in Endwalker. Each expansion has a sidequest like this, which revisits events from that expansion’s story through the eyes of minor characters. This one, though, made me more genuinely emotional than the others. Endwalker’s an interesting case, because its story’s probably not quite as good as Shadowbringers, but is able to use the hours of investment in the rest of the story to evoke real despair and hope in the player. It poses a meaningful question in the era of covid, climate disaster, rising fascism, etc: is a hope felt only to stave off despair a false emotion? Is acknowledging that possibility – that we may actually be lying to ourselves just so we do not feel despair – a form of despair in itself?

It feels silly to talk about a video game story this way, but I still feel raw after Endwalker’s November release. It affected me on a level I’m not used to from fiction, and I champion fiction specifically for its power to affect us. Sometimes I still picture the burning jungle of Thavnair, the stone pool where I had to rescue two people, and my chest tightens. I’ll randomly remember Gra'ha’s line asking whether he is still himself after his environment has forced him to change every aspect of his being from who he once was, and my throat catches. I think a lot of this is down to Endwalker being the right story at the right time: this is a story about covid, and we’re living through covid. It asks questions that I think many of us could feel but didn’t have the words for. I wrote an essay for a graduate class in which I simply described the central conflict of Endwalker, and apparently that alone left my professor thinking about it for several days. There’s something disturbing but also cathartic in stories like this.

This new story wasn’t long, but was still impactful. At one point we asked a background character how he had managed to go on after the death of his son. It must have been instinct, the former villain theorized, but the man corrected him, saying something on the order of “all my instincts were driving me to give up, to let death take me. It was my emotional attachment, to the memory of my son and to those around me, that got me to this point.” For those we have lost, for those we can yet save.

At the end, the former villain says he had always assumed that human emotions were something like a superpower allowing humans to transcend their limitations; they’re certainly treated as such at many points throughout FFXIV. What his time speaking to survivors taught him, though, is that emotions are simply our responses to stimuli. Whether we transcend our limitations or not is up to a number of factors beyond our control, and our ability or inability to do so is less a sign of individual strength or weakness than it is a product of chance. Because humans are weak, they depend on each other, and that support helps increase those odds.

It was a meaningful and cathartic cap on an already meaningful and cathartic story, and I’ll probably randomly think back on it for months to come.

04/02/2022

So I've basically finished Pokemon Legends: Arceus. To do the last post-game quest you need to have completed the pokedex, and I'm about 30 away, but the only legendary I haven't caught yet only appears if you have a save file from a game I don't own, so I think I'm about as close to done as I can get. It's...fine? It's incredibly ugly, which wouldn't be as big a problem if The Pokemon Company wasn't a multi-billion dollar company that can absolutely afford to fix the amateurish issues with the graphics. I think it's wrong to give them a pass for that. This game was published by two huge corporations, broke sales records across the board, and they didn't bother making it look better than a decent fangame. Any time and money they didn't put into the game translates into extra profit down the line, and I don't like rewarding that kind of behavior by brushing over it. Still, I'm gonna set that aside and write on its game design philosophy, what I think works, what I think doesn't, and the ways I worry about the directions they're taking the series. Obviously, mileage varies on this, and since this is a spinoff, it's possible none of its changes will make their way into the main games, but considering much of its design philosophy were improvements on concepts from the Let's Go games, these are still clearly things that are going to be in the ether going forward, especially given how big the game's launch has been.

So firstly, the battle system is heavily simplified. Obviously, held items and abilities have been removed, but a lot of changes have been made to speed up battles and make them easier to win. Many weaker moves have had their power increased and stronger moves have had their power decreased, tightening the window of possible damage output. Similar tweaks have been made to max PP of moves such as Ancient Power/ Ominous Wind etc. Moves that used to not do damage but had unique strategic effects have been removed or made into damaging moves, like stealth rocks and spikes. Any move that raises a stat instead raises both the special and physical versions of that stat at once, making moves like calm mind and bulk up both identical and considerably better. Stat raises also don't seem to stack, though I'm not 100% on that one. The accuracy and evasion stats have been removed and replaced with a two-turn evasion buff effect. Confuse, Sleep, Freeze, and Toxic Poison have been removed, and status effects that do damage over time now do 1/8 instead of 1/16 of max HP each turn. There are no longer EV caps, and it is possible to max out EVs on every stat on every pokemon, which means strategic builds aren't a thing in this game - which I predict means that any training you do for a pokemon in this game won't carry over to other games once transferring is implemented in the Fall. They've also modified how damage is calculated more generally, so that lower-level pokemon can more easily defeat higher-level ones, and it seems to me to have increased the strength of moves at 60-100 power across the board. I haven't looked into whether stats have been tweaked yet, but considering how much damage my Chansey does I wouldn't be surprised if those have been altered too, to make less damage-oriented pokemon do and take more damage. Moves that take two turns, like Dig and Fly, have been removed. The only one remaining that I could find is Shadow Force, which now adds the evasion effect instead.

When I first picked up the game and saw the new, FFX-style turn order system and Bravely Default-style Speed and Power system, I was pretty thrilled that they'd been willing to add so much more complexity to an already pretty complex battle system. The more I played, however, the clearer it was that they added this because the other changes they'd made left the system so oversimplified that it needed some strategic element added back in. It seems that all these changes were made because in the open world stealth game they had made, battles function as a punishment for failure, rather than serving as the core purpose of the game. In my 50ish hours of play, I've had easily less than 15 trainer battles total (against unique trainers; there are three repeated trainers who have a chance of showing up randomly every 3-5 outings or so). I've been caught unaware by a trainer battle with level 60 pokemon and still decimated it with a team of level 23s I was leveling. In this game, battles are primarily a tool to slow down players who do poorly at the stealth and action components, and as a result they have been made as quick and easy to complete as possible, so the punishment doesn't last overlong and frustrate stealth and action players. My first time blacking out in this game was 40 hours in, and it was from accidentally fat-fingering and switching to riding a bear while flying. I haven't lost a battle yet. The battle system is almost vestigial, at this point, and I can't help but wonder if some of the overwhelming jank and ugliness of this game is because resources went into the battle system when they simply shouldn't have. I think this game should have been a reimagining of the old Pokemon Rangers spinoff series, where the pokemon in your party afford you advantages without acting as battling partners. The Zelda-style boss encounters in this game are already absolutely updated versions of the Rangers encounters.

My main disagreement with this game, philosophically, is on the way it handles catching. Legends approaches catching the way especially Go and to a lesser extent the Let's Go games did, by encouraging players to catch as many pokemon as possible and chunk the duplicates for training items. This was unavoidable in Go, as it was a mobile game and was designed around a mobile gameplay loop. This was counter to the point of Let's Go, to the point that I refused to buy either of those games on principle. Here...it makes more sense than Let's Go, but it still feels kinda gross? I never deleted my first file in Pokemon Blue. Ditto for Sapphire and Platinum. I only started reaching a point where I could say goodbye to the pokemon I'd run through a game with in Gen 5. This always felt like...the point? You're supposed to get attached to the pokemon you play with, not as a collection of lists of numbers with a cute design, but as individual beings who went on an adventure with you. It's why each individual pokemon has slightly unique stat spreads, why they gain EVs from the battles they're in, why you can transfer pokemon from game-to-game, and gen-to-gen, why they added shinies and forms and eviolite. It's the main theme of the television show, and (I'd assumed) why so many people have wanted the return of pokemon following you outside of battles (which Legends doesn't do and I find a little unacceptable). You watch so many characters in this game befriend a pokemon and become attached to it. There are nearly a hundred sidequests, about half of which involve catching a pokemon for someone so they can use it as a tool, and over the course of the game those pokemon evolve and grow while their trainers become attached to them. This is supposed to be a game about befriending pets and surviving hardships with them, and the fact that I go to the storage system after each outing, peruse the stat spreads of 15 sneasels, and grind all but the best one into EVs feels like we took a wrong turn somewhere.

I only took my starter all the way to the end, out of a sense of obligation. I have two boxes of the about fifty pokemon who I had in my party at some point, because I feel obligated to remember them. But I switched each of them out without any remorse, or twinge of attachment. I'd already caught tens of each of them, and if you catch a pokemon with a better nature, it's laughably easy to use EV items on it and overtake the one you'd used before, since you don't earn EVs from battles anymore.

In the end, Pokemon Legends: Arceus is a fun - if ugly - game with a decently rewarding loop. I don't regret the time I put into it. But I look at the patterns it continues from previous games and those it leaves behind, and I worry that the wrong lessons are being reinforced. That worry powerfully sours an otherwise solidly enjoyable experience.

Playing the ffxiv healer role quests like
23/12/2021

Playing the ffxiv healer role quests like

13/12/2021
replaying FFXIV to prepare for Endwalker and uh
29/11/2021

replaying FFXIV to prepare for Endwalker and uh

19/11/2021

So a form of Build Back Better has passed the House today to thunderous applause, cut down to basically nothing, and capable of building anything pretty much in name only. Nancy Pelosi, person I hate, said of the nearly useless bill that it "will be the pillar of health and financial security in America," signaling to us all that the future will one without health or financial security. Also today was the disastrous Rittenhouse decision, which Biden just publicly said was the correct decision because of course the Crime Bill guy would be all for that decision. Maybe it's just intense cynicism in a powerfully disheartening moment, but I can't help feeling like we've crossed some kind of threshold today.

I know I've written a lot about fascism over the years, but indulge me, for a moment. Fascism is built out of two specific currents: a far-right movement and Liberal (read: capitalist) support. Fascist movements, while certainly dangerous and necessary to fight, don't necessarily bear out into fascist governments. In fact, their purpose when created wasn't to take power, but simply to find a way to garner mass support for already existing power structures at a time when it was widely believed that mass movements were always positioned against those structures. Liberal governments are generally perfectly capable of holding onto power, but it's easier to do so with a populace that accepts their position. During crises of capital, however, left-wing movements tend to crop up, because people begin to see and resent the structures that gave rise to the crisis. It's worth noting that these crises are predictable and help to hasten the flow of profit to the owning classes; they're a feature of capitalism, not a bug. Left-wing movements, however, pose a threat to the owning classes, as more and more desperate people question their right to hold power, or even the naturalness of a system that allows for these power imbalances.

This leads to the gamble that Liberal capital takes again and again; they empower far-right paramilitaries to take out these threats to their power without dirtying their own hands. This also doesn't necessarily lead to fascism, because the owning classes are generally good at holding onto their power, but occasionally they overreach and overextend, and those far-right elements are catapulted to a position of governance. The ins and outs of it all are much more complex than that, obviously. The comfort of the middle-class, primacy of race, state of education, uneasy position of overseas holdings, and more factors are all pieces of the larger picture. Still, this gamble taken by capital is the magic moment where everything can fall to fascism. It's also a gamble we see Liberals take repeatedly. Think back to post-reconstruction, McCarthyism, the violent destruction of the rainbow coalition, the crushing of Occupy under tank treads, the crushing of indigenous protesters who just wanted the land they were promised. The current of American history is this constant attempt by the ruling class to hold onto power by violently dismantling left-wing movements using state and mob power, then using propaganda to erode away any support of what was dismantled. I find myself asking increasingly often if Neoliberalism isn't simply the result of all these hundreds of gambles across the globe succeeding in not giving way to fascism and in doing so leaving behind something just as evil.

I think Trump was fascist. I...don't think he helmed a fascist government, exactly. By that, I mean I don't think America under Trump was much more fascist than America under any other recent president. When all power is neoliberal and all populist energies are right-wing and/or middle-class, how noticeable would a fascist turn even be?

I wrote during the 2020 primaries that the only way to fight back against fascism was through left-wing populism. I hope it's clear, now, why I believe that to be the case. However, capital took the gamble again, against a movement which was, after so many years of erosion, barely even left-wing. We now see the result. Far-right popular movements are given not even tacit approval, but official sanction. Liberal policy that's meant simply to pacify an increasingly demoralized populace won't even pass, as long as it means any disruption of the flow of profit.

As time passes, I find myself more and more often feeling like we're all at the edge of the precipice. Today is one such day.

14/11/2021

Happy birthday queen

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