30/05/2026
🚨 DI RANT ALERT 🚨
Right then… apparently the latest genius idea from the people who have never pulled a pint, cleaned a beer line, balanced a till, organised live music, dealt with drunk Dave in the toilets AND tried to pay an electricity bill the size of a small mortgage… is to charge MORE business rates to the pubs that are actually trying their bloody hardest. 🍻👏
So let me get this straight…
You invest in your pub.
You tidy the garden.
You plant flowers.
You create a family-friendly environment.
You put on events.
You support local musicians.
You keep the building looking nice.
You become a hub for the community.
And the reward?
💰 “Congratulations, your pub is too nice. That’ll cost you.”
ABSOLUTE CLOWNERY. 🤡
Apparently pubs in “attractive locations”, “character buildings”, with gardens, outdoor spaces and strong community appeal could be hit harder under new business rates guidance. (The Times)
So the message to hospitality seems to be:
❌ Don’t improve anything.
❌ Don’t invest.
❌ Don’t create outdoor spaces.
❌ Don’t attract visitors.
❌ Don’t become a destination.
Because if you do, someone in an office will decide you’re clearly rolling in money.
Meanwhile the reality is most pubs are fighting rising wages, energy costs, supplier increases, insurance hikes and customers who are watching every penny. Turnover doesn’t equal profit. A busy pub isn’t automatically a rich pub. (The Times)
Honestly, at this rate they’ll be assessing rates based on:
🌺 Number of hanging baskets.
🐕 Quantity of good boys allowed in.
🍺 Quality of the pint.
😊 Customer happiness levels.
“Sorry madam, your beer garden appears to have generated joy. That’s another £4,000.”
At this point we may as well all stop trying, shut up shop and join the unemployment queue because seriously, this government is destroying small businesses for fun these days.
The hospitality industry doesn’t need punishment for surviving.
It needs support.
Because once the independent pubs are gone, they’re gone.
But don’t worry everyone… if they keep this up we’ll save a fortune by replacing the beer garden with a skip, three traffic cones and a patch of nettles.
Should bring the rates down nicely.
🍻
