21/03/2026
🚨🦠 SIX YEARS ON 🦠🚨
Six bloody years since the government decided the safest place for the nation was anywhere except sat in front of a cold pint with a bag of dry roasted. 😢
On this day in 2020, they pulled the shutters down and turned the taps off. 🏚️
Remember those days? When the biggest panic was whether we'd be open by Christmas or if the furlough money would clear? 😬
Bless our naive little hearts.
If only we knew that was the easy part.
Fast forward six years, and here we are, facing the real pandemic: The sheer, unadulterated, impossible task of trying to pour you a beer whilst deciding whether to mortgage our firstborn to the electricity board or the VAT man. 👶
Surviving a Lockdown was just the Warm-Up Act.
🦠 Back in 2020, we were worried about a virus.
🍟 Now? I’m worried about whether I can afford to switch the fryers on.
I currently need to sell a kidney just to turn the glasswasher on for a cycle. My monthly bill is higher than the GDP of a small developing nation. 🗺️📈
And then we have the "help" from Westminster. They love a photo op with a pint, don’t they?
But when it comes to the math, they’re clearly using a broken abacus. 🧮
While the rest of Europe treats their hospitality industry like a national treasure - with hospitality VAT rates in places like France, Spain, and even Ireland sitting at a sensible 7% to 13% - our lot thinks 20% is "fair." 🤷♂️
🤨 Fair? It’s basically a mugging.
We’re competing with European neighbors who get a leg up, while we’re being asked to sprint with a 9 gallon cask on our backs. It’s not a "level playing field"; it’s a vertical climb where the government is throwing rocks at us from the top. 🪨
💸 I’m charging six quid a pint just to keep the taxman in gold-plated Hobnobs, and yet I’m making less profit than when I was able to charge £3!
We survived the global pandemic, but I’m not sure we’re going to survive the government’s utter contempt for anyone who doesn't own a hedge fund. 😰
We’re being squeezed on energy, hammered on tax, and smiled at by politicians who wouldn't know a local if it hit them in the face with a bag of pork scratchings.
So, if you appreciate having somewhere to go that isn’t your own depressing living room or a faceless chain where the staff think a shandy is a type of cocktail, come and spend some money in your local! 🍺
Support your local pub before we all turn into trendy coffee shops or, worse still, more second homes for the crooks in Westminster! ☕️👨🏼💼
I’ll be at the bar, keeping the lights switched off to save money. Just follow the sound of my groaning. 😩