20/10/2026
๐ฏ๐ฎ DARTS NIGHT ROUND-UP โ THE POSTMAN DELIVERS AGAIN! ๐ฎ๐ฏ
Another night of darts, another Josh Bartram victory. The man who struggles to deliver a parcel to the correct address somehow has absolutely no trouble delivering tungsten into tiny bits of a dartboard. ๐
๐ THE FINAL โ BARTโRAM 3โ2 WEBBER
What a final! Josh "Royal Fail" Bartram edged out Gazman Webber 3โ2, averaging a cracking 85.32.
Gazman wasn't far behind with an 80.26 average, but unfortunately for him, Josh was more reliable on the doubles than he is with a tracked 24-hour delivery.
Your parcel is out for delivery. Your trophy has already arrived. ๐ฆ๐
๐ฏ THE SEMI-FINALS
Josh Bartram 3โ0 Ryan Butler
Poor Ryan. He'd battled through a five-leg quarter-final only to get absolutely flattened by the postman.
Josh didn't even knock. Just lobbed three sets through the letterbox and left Ryan a card saying, "Sorry we missed you." ๐
Gazman Webber 3โ0 David Aylesbury
Gazman turned up averaging 83.50 and absolutely steamrolled David, who managed 70.94.
David had been throwing like Phil Taylor in the quarters, but by the semis he was throwing like he'd borrowed Phil's darts from a charity shop.
๐ฏ THE QUARTER-FINALS โ WHERE THE CHAOS BEGAN
๐ฆ Josh Bartram 3โ1 Chris Rees
Josh scraped together a 60.94 average but still got the job done. Chris averaged 69.46 and somehow lost.
Only Josh could deliver less and still come away with more. Sounds like his normal working day. ๐
๐ฅ Ryan Butler 3โ2 Bobby Biggler
An absolute scrap! Bobby averaged 71.04 to Ryan's 68.70 and still ended up going home.
Bobby threw the better darts, Ryan took the win. Somebody check the scoreboard for daylight robbery.
๐ช Gazman Webber 3โ1 Jack Puckrin
Gazman comfortably dispatched Jack, averaging 65.22. Jack managed 57.10 and looked like he'd been aiming at a dartboard in the next postcode.
๐ David Aylesbury 3โ0 Kristofer Coyle
David turned into prime Michael van Gerwen, averaging a whopping 86.71, the highest average of the entire night!
Kristofer averaged 56.47 and probably wished he'd stayed home watching The Chase.
Unfortunately, David used up all his good darts in one match and had absolutely nothing left for Gazman.
๐ FINAL VERDICT
๐ฅ Josh Bartram โ Champion again. Can't find your front door but can find double top with his eyes shut.
๐ฅ Gazman Webber โ Great run, brilliant final, but ultimately another victim of the Royal Mail express service.
๐ฅ David Aylesbury โ Highest average of the night. Peaked too early, like someone celebrating Christmas in September.
๐ฉ Bobby Biggler & Chris Rees โ Both out-averaged their opponents and still lost. Proof that darts is a cruel, cruel game.
๐ฎ And Josh?
Three matches. Three wins. Another trophy.
At this rate he'll have more trophies than successfully delivered parcels.
Royal Mail have reportedly asked him to stop practising his doubles and start practising finding people's houses. ๐๐ฆ
๐ฏ SAME TIME NEXT WEEK โ UNLESS JOSH GETS LOST ON HIS ROUND! ๐ป