The Four Thieves

The Four Thieves Pub / Arcade / Modern Playhouse
For the curious, the playful & the bold 👀 Steal back a little more life than you started with 🎯
Food by Lucky Chip 🍔

The Thieves is a pub like no other located in the heart of Clapham Junction. We host a wide range of events such as live comedy, bottomless brunches and quizzes. There is an ever-changing menu of pop-up street food, pizzas, Sunday roasts and lots more. On the first floor is the Arcade featuring the Moonshine Raceway - a full size remote controlled car track, Virtual Reality booths, Skee Ball and a whole host of other retro video games.

16/09/2026

🔥 WHAT’S ON AT THE THIEVES? 🔥

There’s ALWAYS something going on at The Thieves 👀🍻

🎤 TUESDAY — 2-for-1 Parmis + alternating Comedy Open Mic & Live Music

😂 WEDNESDAY — Professional Comedy every other week

🍔 THURSDAY — £6 Burgers + Band Karaoke 🎸🎤

You don’t just watch the band… YOU ARE THE BAND! 🤘

🎶 FRIDAY — Live Music ALL NIGHT 🎵

🔥 SATURDAY — DJs until late 🎧

🕹️ THE THIEVES GAMBIT ARCADE — Open all week!

📍 Battersea

🍻 Food • Drinks • Comedy • Live Music • Karaoke • DJs • Arcade

The Thieves — More than a pub. 🖤

BandKaraoke Comedy BatterseaSocialClub PubLife LondonNightlife Arcade SouthWestLondon

14/09/2026

THE THIEVES 🍻

More than just a pub. More than just a night out.

🎤 Live music
😂 Comedy
🎙️ Open mic nights
🎯 Darts
🎱 Pool
🕹️ The Thieves Gambit arcade
🍔 THE HOME OF THE CHICKEN PARM
🍹 Cocktails & drinks
🎉 Birthdays, parties & celebrations
💘 Pitch Please dating nights
🎶 DJs & late-night vibes

Whatever you're looking for, there’s always something happening at The Thieves.

📍 Battersea

❤️ Come for a drink. Stay for the atmosphere.

THE THIEVES — ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING ON.

Comedy OpenMic Pool Darts Arcade

13/09/2026

🔥 WHAT’S ON AT THE THIEVES? 🔥

There’s ALWAYS something going on at The Thieves 👀🍻

🎤 TUESDAY — 2-for-1 Parmis + alternating Comedy Open Mic & Live Music from and

😂 WEDNESDAY — Professional Comedy every other week from the

🍔 THURSDAY — £6 Burgers + Band Karaoke 🎸🎤 from
You don’t just watch the band… YOU ARE THE BAND! 🤘

🎶 FRIDAY — Live Music ALL NIGHT 🎵 from

🔥 SATURDAY — DJs until late 🎧

🕹️ THE THIEVES GAMBIT ARCADE — Open all week!

📍 Battersea

🍻 Food • Drinks • Comedy • Live Music • Karaoke • DJs • Arcade

The Thieves — More than a pub. 🖤

BandKaraoke Comedy BatterseaSocialClub PubLife LondonNightlife Arcade SouthWestLondon

12/09/2026

🎤 THURSDAYS AT THE THIEVES 🎸

Ever wanted to sing with a LIVE BAND?
Now’s your chance! 🔥

🎶 LIVE MUSIC KARAOKE 🎶
You pick the song.
You grab the mic.
You sing with the band! 🤘

Every Thursday
⏰ 9PM – 12AM from OCTOBER 1st

Whether you’re a secret superstar or absolutely fearless after a few drinks… the stage is yours! 🍻🎤

📍 The Thieves, Battersea

Come for the music. Stay for the madness. 🖤

and thats the bottom line cos the thieves said so!

📸 A little look inside THE THIEVES 🍻More than just a pub. More than just a night out.🎤 Live music😂 Comedy🎙️ Open mic nig...
11/09/2026

📸 A little look inside THE THIEVES 🍻

More than just a pub. More than just a night out.

🎤 Live music
😂 Comedy
🎙️ Open mic nights
🎯 Darts
🎱 Pool
🕹️ The Thieves arcade
🍔 Home of LUCKY CHIP BURGERS and the FAMOUS PARMI
🍹 Cocktails & drinks
🎉 Birthdays, parties & celebrations
💘 Pitch Please dating nights
🎶 DJs & late-night vibes

Whatever you're looking for, there’s always something happening at The Thieves.

📍 Battersea

❤️ Come for a drink. Stay for the atmosphere.

THE THIEVES — ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING ON.

Comedy OpenMic Pool Darts Arcade

10/09/2026

POV: you’ve just found your new favourite pub in Battersea. 👀🍻

Welcome to The Thieves — where there’s always something going on.

🎤 Live music every Friday
😂 Comedy nights that actually slap
🧠 Pub quiz nights
🎙️ Open Mic Sessions
🕹️ Our upstairs arcade
🍗 2 Chicken Parms for £20 every Tuesday
🍺 Proper pints, great food & good people
☀️ Beer garden + glorious air con when London decides to melt

Come for one. Stay for several.

The Thieves — More Than A Pub.

📍 Battersea

LondonNightlife

08/09/2026

💘 PITCH PLEASE IS BACK! 💘

Single? Taken? It’s complicated? 👀

Whatever your status, it’s time to get back in the game…

🔥 Pitch Please returns to The Thieves

📅 Thursday 24th September

📍 The Thieves, Battersea

Expect flirting, games, chaos and plenty of opportunities to meet your match. 😉

🎟️ Grab your spot — you never know who might walk through the door…

Are you ready to PITCH? 💘

Ticket link in Bio

07/09/2026

📞 THE THIEVES IS CALLING… 📞

We’ve got a few things to talk about this week 👀

🍗 TUESDAY — 2 for £20 Parmis + Open Mic Comedy from 🎤
😂 WEDNESDAY — Professional comedy from
🎶 FRIDAY — Live music from 8PM from

So… will you answer? ☎️

📍 The Thieves, Battersea

🍻 More than a pub.

06/09/2026

🍗 2 CHICKEN PARMIGIANAS. £20. 🍗
Yep. TWO for twenty quid EVERY TUESDAY 🤯

Golden, crispy chicken. Loads of sauce. Melted cheese. Proper pub comfort food.

And there’s only one correct drink to have alongside it…
🍺 STONE & WOOD PACIFIC ALE.

Cold. Crisp. Refreshing. An absolute MUST with the parmy. No arguments. 😏

Grab your mate. Grab two chicken parms. Grab a Pacific Ale.

📍 The Thieves, Battersea 💰 2 Chicken Parmigianas for £20

More than a pub.

PacificAle LondonPubs BatterseaFood PubFood LondonFood

05/09/2026

POV: you’ve just found your new favourite pub in Battersea. 👀🍻

Welcome to The Thieves — where there’s always something going on.

🎤 Live music every Friday
😂 Comedy nights that actually slap
🧠 Pub quiz nights
🎙️ Open Mic Sessions
🕹️ Our upstairs arcade
🍗 2 Chicken Parms for £20 every Tuesday
🍺 Proper pints, great food & good people
☀️ Beer garden + glorious air con when London decides to melt

Come for one. Stay for several.

The Thieves — More Than A Pub
📍 Battersea

LAST WEEKEND AT THE THIEVES 📸🔥Birthdays, hen parties, big nights and even bigger celebrations… you lot certainly know ho...
04/09/2026

LAST WEEKEND AT THE THIEVES 📸🔥

Birthdays, hen parties, big nights and even bigger celebrations… you lot certainly know how to do it! 🥂🎉

A few highlights from another brilliant weekend at The Thieves — good people, great drinks and plenty of reasons to celebrate.

Planning your next night out? Bring the party to The Thieves. 🍾

Booking link in bio

03/09/2026

Something new has landed at The Thieves…

Say hello to LoCal

A proper beer, with a lighter 3% ABV

LoCal. Now pouring at The Thieves.

Have you ever been to The Thieves? 👀

If not... why not? 😏

Here's what you're missing:
🎶 Live music every Friday
🎤 Comedy nights every other Wednesday
🎯 FREE pool & darts every Monday & Tuesday (book ahead)
🎲 Retro arcade upstairs
❄️ Powerful air conditioning for those hot summer days
🐓 Tuesdays 2 chicken Parmis for £20
🍻 Amazing beers, cocktails & drinks deals
⚽ Every major live sporting event on the big screens
🌿 Huge beer garden
🎉 Private hire & group bookings

📍 Right here in Battersea

More than a pub

Tag the friend who's still never been... and we'll see you at The Thieves. 🍻

ComedyNight BeerGarden ArcadeBar SouthWestLondon ThingsToDoLondon

02/09/2026

“Something new has landed at The Thieves…
Say hello to LoCal.

A proper beer, with a lighter 3% ABV.

All the taste, all the good times — just a little less alcohol.
Perfect for keeping the night going without going too hard.

LoCal. Now pouring at The Thieves.

Come and try one.

01/09/2026

POV: you’ve just found your new favourite pub in Battersea. 👀🍻

Welcome to The Thieves — where there’s always something going on.

🎤 Live music every Friday
😂 Comedy nights that actually slap
🧠 Pub quiz nights
🎙️ Open Mic Sessions Every Tuesday
🕹️ Our upstairs arcade
🍗 2 Chicken Parms for £20 every Tuesday
🍺 Proper pints, great food & good people
☀️ Beer garden + glorious air con when London decides to melt

Come for one. Stay for several.

The Thieves — More Than A Pub.

📍 Battersea

LondonNightlife

30/08/2026

POV: you’ve just found your new favourite pub in Battersea. 👀🍻

Welcome to The Thieves — where there’s always something going on.

🎤 Live music every Friday
😂 Comedy nights that actually slap
🧠 Pub quiz nights
🎙️ Open Mic Sessions
🕹️ Our upstairs arcade
🍗 2 Chicken Parms for £20 every Tuesday
🍺 Proper pints, great food & good people
☀️ Beer garden + glorious air con when London decides to melt

Come for one. Stay for several.

The Thieves — More Than A Pub.

📍 Battersea

BatterseaLiveMusic

27/08/2026

🍗 2 CHICKEN PARMIGIANAS. £20. 🍗

Yep. TWO for twenty quid. 🤯

EVERY TUESDAY

Golden, crispy chicken. Loads of sauce. Melted cheese. Proper pub comfort food.

And there’s only one correct drink to have alongside it…

🍺 STONE & WOOD PACIFIC ALE.

Cold. Crisp. Refreshing. An absolute MUST with the parmy. No arguments. 😏

Grab your mate. Grab two chicken parms. Grab a Pacific Ale.

📍 The Thieves, Battersea 💰 2 Chicken Parmigianas for £20

More than a pub.

PacificAle LondonPubs BatterseaFood PubFood LondonFood

26/08/2026

GINGER BEER JUST LANDED 🫚🍺

We’re now serving Dusty’s Ginger Beer at The Thieves.
Best served ice cold, loaded with ice and finished with a fresh squeeze of lime 🍋‍🟩

Feeling adventurous? 👀
Add a shot of spiced rum and take it to another level. 🥃🔥
Spicy. Refreshing. Bloody good.

Come and get your Dusty’s fix.

LondonPubs PubLife DrinkLocal

23/08/2026

If this Reel has found you...

Take it as your sign to try somewhere new.

A pub with live music. A pub with comedy. A pub with a retro arcade. A pub where you can play pool and darts for free. A pub with a huge beer garden. A pub showing all the biggest sport. A pub with proper pizzas, cold pints and great vibes.

We're not trying to be like every other pub.
We're The Thieves.

Come and see what everyone's talking about.

📍 Battersea

Tag the person you're bringing with you. 🍻

20/08/2026

POV: you’ve just found your new favourite pub in Battersea. 👀🍻

Welcome to The Thieves — where there’s always something going on.

🎤 Live music every Friday
😂 Comedy nights that actually slap
🧠 Pub quiz nights
🎙️ Open Mic Sessions
🕹️ Our upstairs arcade
🍗 2 Chicken Parms for £20 every Tuesday
🍺 Proper pints, great food & good people
☀️ Beer garden + glorious air con when London decides to melt

Come for one. Stay for several.

The Thieves — More Than A Pub
📍 Battersea

LondonNightlife

Address

51 Lavender Gardens
London
SW111JW

Opening Hours

Monday 4pm - 11pm
Tuesday 4pm - 11pm
Wednesday 12pm - 12am
Thursday 12pm - 12am
Friday 12pm - 2am
Saturday 12pm - 2am
Sunday 12pm - 10pm

Telephone

0207 223 6927

Website

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