16/10/2026
🤰🍺 STAFF SPOTLIGHT: NORMAN 🍺🤰
🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE POSTIE! 🚨
After years of dedication to the pub, Norman has finally announced he’s expecting… probably another b**r belly. 😂
A few things you should know about our resident pensioner:
🍺 Speed of service: It takes Norman half an hour to make ONE drink. You’ll have finished your night out before he’s finished pouring your pint.
🍸 Cocktail menu: Ask Norman for a cocktail and you’ll be told to f**k off. We don’t make the rules. 💀
🦖 Age: Older than the pyramids. Archaeologists have been trying to carbon-date him for years.
🤰 Current status: Expecting… we’re just not sure whether it’s a baby or the consequences of 40 years of pub lunches.
Please join us in congratulating Norman on his pregnancy. Maternity leave pending, although knowing him, he’ll still be serving that same drink when he gets back.