30/07/2026
dear production team,
We leave you to your own devices for a few weeks and you release a beer that's upset a few people in craft beer forums? You clearly aren't trying hard enough but don't worry we're here to help now!
Those superhuman keyboard warriors are unencumbered by mundane trivialities such as a basic understanding of psychophysics, neurobiology, any of the cognitive sciences or sommelier qualifications relying instead on a well developed sense of entitlement and an overactive arrogance gland. You dared to suggest it's not actually physically possible to completely understand a beer from a single mouthful, that you need to allow the flavours to build on you palate so you appreciate the full depth and complexity of a product which involves a sensible sized serving.
As borderline demigods they are capable of rating a feature film (a "movie" for our american cousins) after viewing a 15 second trailer. Writing a critique of any book by merely glancing across the back cover text is another of their attributes. We have seen certain deities compile more than 25 reviews in a matter of hours using those arcane techniques. As you can imagine their insights in those fields have the same high degree of relevance and accuracy as their beery musings.
yours
Award Winning Sales Force
