16/09/2020
Have stolen this from a friend but it sums up the frustrations of working in a pub right now....
Heading out this week for a few drinks and nibbles with friends?! Let me throw in a couple of gentle reminders before you head out....
1 - Wait to be seated, no really: wait. Don’t have a quick tour of the place. Don’t sit at a table with empty glasses. Don’t join a few friends who already have a seat... please just wait.
2 - Don’t move anything, We are sorry that the feng shui doesn’t hit the mark for you but the furniture is set out the way it is for a reason. Moving it around will only have me come over and tell you to put it back.
3 - Only six people..... Don’t say five and then have two of your mates casually try to hide behind you..... we do multiple drink orders, ring up rounds in our heads and can remember a round of drinks we did a week ago.... counting to six really isn’t that hard.
4 - Sit down.... please just sit down. If you haven’t seen a few people you know who happen to be sat at the opposite side of the room, just give them a wave. Drop them a text, have a zoom call. Please don’t get up and join them.
5 - Its not musical chairs - see a more preferable table?..... don’t get up and move. Maybe ask when we have a minute, we have to sanitise each table, if you hop round the room your doubling our work. Just please sit down.
6 - It really is six to a table, and no I don’t believe that we are the “only ones doing it”.
7 - Track and trace.... just do it. Don’t nod and say yeah sure. We have to do it, please just do it.
8 - No we won’t hold your table incase you can’t get another table in town. We are actually quite insulted you asked.
9 - For the love of all things cute and fluffy please sit down.
10 - Please know what you want - not sure what you want to drink, that’s fine! Just tell us you need a little more time. We too feel awkward watching you stare at the menu. Your not on a timer but in those five minutes I could of served two other tables. I will come back I promise!
11- We are not joking about the six, or the moving tables. Please don’t pull that table a few inches apart so you can have 8 of you.
12 - Sit down.
13 - It really is six.
These are things out of our control, we hate repeating ourselves as much as you hate hearing it but we have to enforce it please just do us a solid and listen to us. You are playing with people’s livelihoods, our licenses.... our patience. If you don’t like the rules then complain to Bojo, trust us we are not exactly happy with the current situation either!
Keep supporting local, tip your staff, say please and thank you, don’t ask us to “smile” and for the love of alcohol please sit down.....
and yes it really is six.
