07/11/2026
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: THE GREAT LOVE TRAIN PARTY SONG REQUEST SCANDAL OF 2026! 🚨
🎪 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage our latest ‘for one night only’ attraction Mr & Mrs Davies 🎪
Last night, these two guests made their first (and apparently their last) visit to Tapestry for our long running monthly Love Train Party.
Given the frankly outrageous admission price of £8 😱 and Mark’s publicly visible record of three one star reviews for hospitality venues, we’re surprised they took the financial gamble in the first place! At least they didn’t take exception to our drinks prices on this particular night out! Perhaps they were expecting a red carpet and a limousine? 😂
Anyway, a technical issue arose with the software on our DJ’s MacBook. The extensive playlists and music stored locally remained fully accessible, but the cloud based library was throwing an error up and pausing play. We initially suspected an internet dropout, the DJ quickly explained the problem and apologised. He tried accessing the cloud music twice, but both attempts interrupted playback. So, rather than risk stopping the music again, he made the extraordinary decision to keep the disco going!
Now, Love Train has been running for at least four years. Over that time, we’ve built up an enormous locally stored library of Soul, Motown and Northern Soul favourites, including many of the requests from our loyal regulars.
Consequently, we could play requests for songs already stored on the hard drive, but not those requiring access to the cloud based library hosted by Spotify.
No favouritism. No discrimination. No personal vendetta. That’s not how we roll, it was just an unforeseen SOFTWARE BUG in the world of Apple and MacOs! We’re sure you all know the one! 🙄
Once the evening had finished and everyone had gone home, we investigated properly and identified a compatibility problem between the updated software and our version of macOS. Cue arrival of a new MacBook!! 💷💷
We couldn’t fathom that out while running the event, believe it or not, the priority was on keeping the music playing, not turning the dancefloor into an Apple Genius Bar. We’ve included a photograph of the error for anyone who prefers evidence before making judgement. Our disappointed guests nevertheless concluded that other people’s requests were receiving preferential treatment.
And so, not just one, but TWO one star reviews duly arrived from them within quick succession.
Interestingly, both reviews refer to our event as Soul Train. It’s LOVE TRAIN! You’d have thought the name on the event flyer might have offered a clue!
❤️🚂
We’re very proud of the reputation we’ve built at Tapestry, and until last night, our Google rating stood at 4.9 out of 5. Following these two reviews, it’s now showing at 4.8 out of 5.
We accept that technology occasionally falls down. We also accept that customers can be disappointed. What we struggle to accept is the suggestion that an entire evening deserves two one star reviews from one household, simply because one particular song wasn’t played, and we certainly didn’t expect our much loved doorman to become the complaints department for unforeseen software issues on their way out! He’s a big lad too, but he’s very polite!!
Perhaps the simplest solution for anyone who requires an absolute guarantee that every song they request will be played is to stay at home, save their £8 and enjoy complete control of their own playlist, rather than to ‘activate petulant child mode’ and seek to damage hard working businesses.
Anyway, we’ve written a little poem to commemorate this historic occasion.
‘LAST NIGHT A DJ BUGGED MY WIFE’
They came for a night, they left in a huff,
Apparently for eight quid it just wasn't enough!
They said it went wrong, when their song didn’t come on, and left two bad reviews, when it should have been none!
Thank you very much.
Love from Tapestry (age 6¾)
### ❤️🚂
