18/06/2026
Good morning (Guten Morgen if you’re German) Bradford & surrounding areas…..and once again well done England! 👏🏼👏🏼
We’ve just come up for air and it seems some people genuinely think we orchestrated some kind of elaborate publicity stunt last night. 😱
We can assure you nothing could be further from the truth. We simply shared a bad review in exactly the same way we’ve shared countless good reviews over the years. If the balance doesn’t seem quite right, it’s only because we’re usually running a bit short of bad ones.
What followed was completely unexpected. The support for our staff, food and venue has been incredible. We’ve had messages from people who’ve visited for years, people who haven’t been for years and people who’ve never been at all but are now determined to come and see what all the fuss is about.
George has spent most of the morning running around like a headless chicken. In fact, he’s now looking for additional headless chickens as advance orders this morning suggest we’re going to be rather busy.
A small handful of people have used the opportunity to pursue various virtue-signalling campaigns. We’re delighted our humble review post has been able to provide such a valuable public service and wish them every success in their future endeavours.
Meanwhile, our marketing department are still trying to understand why one review generated more engagement than months of carefully crafted event posts, advertisements and promotional campaigns. Early findings suggest we are all winging it (see what we did there?) and that nobody really knows what they’re doing.
Anyway, thank you to everyone who’s commented, shared, laughed, defended us, defended the reviewer, praised the staff, praised the food or simply enjoyed the spectacle.
And Pauline, if you’re reading this, you’ve got two free tickets and the burgers are on us. (No salt, of course.)
We’d also like to reassure everyone that having reviewed our customer service training programme this morning, we’ve concluded that it is considerably more advanced than Basil Fawlty’s.
For example, we no longer hit guests with branches.
Right, normal business shall now resume. We’ve got customers to feed and tickets to sell.
Love from
Tapestry (age 6½) x
