Bispham Cons 'Bispham Conservative Club'

15/06/2026

Yoooo, what’s happening everyone. Bispham Cons update here updating you with an update. Is everyone enjoying the World Cup so far? The highlight being of course Mary and Barbara’s Germany team absolutely dismantling Jenny and Emma’s Curacao. But who cares about the World Cup right? Oh, England fans. Of course. We’ll be showing England’s Wednesday night game on the big projector screen if anyone’s interested. And if there’s anyone that’s not interested, we’ll be showing Croatia’s game at the same time on the same screen.
On a different matter, bonus ball money. They’ve finally let me have a bit of the million, billion, squillion pound I’ve brought into the Club since it started, and as a result, I’ve now got a new ceiling behind the bar. It’s been an interesting process so far. Day one, came in bright and early to help Joe make a start. Day two I came in bright and early to watch Joe crack on while I pottered about doing other stuff. Day three I came in bright and early to leave Joe to it while I ate a sandwich. But I’d say as a 50/50 partnership we’ve absolutely nailed it and I look forward to my wage packet.
But that was then and this is now. Now it’s now. And by the time you’ve read the rest, now will be then. Ugh, what am I on about… Just carry on if you’re interested.


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🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 35793
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💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 6 & 17
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🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is July 4th🇺🇸 🤞🏻
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🔹Friday🔹 - EVERHEART are here! Everheart or Everaaaart, depending on which committee man is on duty are this weeks duo. Anyway, apparently everheart as a name means ‘brave boar’. Soooo, do with that what you will. Cheers.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- LA BAMBA are back! It’s band night! La Bamba or Le Bambuh depending on which committee man is on duty is this weeks band. Anyway, apparently la bamba as a name means ‘brave boar’. Oh no, wait, that was everaaaart. Forgot to close the tab.
Joing the band will be… bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side. Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s JACKPOT BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, it’s not overly busy (yet), so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? I’ve got a group of guys who scoffed at Bingo last year, who now have their own monogrammed bingo boards. That’s not even a joke! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of JACKPOT BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻

08/06/2026

Bispham Cons World Cup Sweep. Small detail I’ve forgotten so far. Prize money is £300 for the winner. £100 second place and £50 for third place play off winner.

08/06/2026

Hello everyone. It’s Bispham Cons update time. I can tell by the constant stream of abuse that many of you weren’t happy with the results of the World Cup sweep and honestly, all I can say is, no refunds. I just hope Siobhan remembers who did the draw when France win her the top prize.
I also hope everyone enjoyed our Take That Tribute show with Tom and the boys! Was a really good night. Honestly didn’t realise how many Take That songs I liked. Felt a bit dirty afterwards. Had to bang on some Slipknot just to realign my brain.
But that’s enough about 90’s boy band sensations that we may of may not secretly like. It’s time to move on to more pressing issues, like what the hell is Relay and where am I supposed to take this parcel!? Sorry, clicked onto my emails. Erm, what’s this one again? Oh yea, Bishum Cons. I remember. Singers. Let’s go!

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🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 35702
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💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 23 & 27
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🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is July 4th🇺🇸 🤞🏻
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🔹Friday🔹 - ROCK & SOUL are back! The ever popular duo are back doing ever popular songs as a duo. Wait, I can take my Relay parcel to the Beach Barbers!? That can’t be right. Sorry. Clicked on my emails again. Rock & Soul, baby! Yeeaaa.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- SCARLETTS WEB are back too! The ever popular duo are back doing ever popular songs as a duo… Hang on, I said that already. Come on, concentrate! Ahh, ok, the pin is just on the barbers, it’s actually the news agents down the road. Ok, I’m with it now. I’m ready to do this properly now. Oh. We’re done? Ok then. Well cheers everyone. Come see Scarletts Web. Peeeeaaace.
Joing the duo will be… bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side. Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s JACKPOT BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, it’s not overly busy (yet), so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? I’ve got a group of guys who scoffed at Bingo last year, who now have their own monogrammed bingo boards. That’s not even a joke! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of JACKPOT BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻

06/06/2026

Bispham Cons Bonus Ball Winners!

Board 1: Baz and Wendy
Board 2: Ryan Brown
Board 3: Gus Sharpe

Congratulations everyone! £1000 each!

04/06/2026

02/06/2026

They say good good things come to those that wait. Well, not on this occasion. A full day and a half late for your Bispham Cons update. Sorry about that. There’s a good reason, but I’ll leave it. I’ll just get straight to the point because Joe’s just reminded me I’ve not done it and I’ve got a Chinese on the way.
Although I’ve just got enough time to remind those that need reminding, I need your bonus ball money and also anyone that owes me for the World Cup sweep, I’ll be doing a live draw on Sunday. So get it in!


———————————————————————————
🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 34861
———————————————————————————
———————————————————————————
💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 4 and 9
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🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is June 6th 🤞🏻
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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
🎶🎶 EVERYTHING CHANGES 🎶🎶
A TAKE THAT TRIBUTE SHOW
⭐️ Friday June 5th. Tickets £5 ⭐️
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

🔹Friday🔹 - TAKE THAT TRIBUTE SHOW. EVERYTHING CHANGES. That’s right, everything changes but you! So stay the same. Come to the club. Watch the boys tonight. Cheers.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- STARLIGHT are back! Star light star bright first star I see tonight. Well, two stars tonight as it’s an awesome duo.
Joing the duo will be… bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side. Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s JACKPOT BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, it’s not overly busy (yet), so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? I’ve got a group of guys who scoffed at Bingo last year, who now have their own monogrammed bingo boards. That’s not even a joke! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of JACKPOT BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻

28/05/2026

Take That tribute show at Bispham Cons!
Friday June 5th. Tickets £5.

25/05/2026

Alright! Coming to you live all the way from work. That’s right. Back in Blighty now, back at Bispham Cons. Legs are away for another year. Only because Joe’s making me go to work every day. Something about me having three weeks off yada, yada. Big baby…
I should have done this earlier really. Not like I’ve not had time. I could have done it when some gump woke me up at 4 in the morning. I could have done it during my McDonald’s breakfast. I could have done it on the train home. I could have done it at home. But nah! Might as well do it when I’m at work. Kinda feels like I’m getting paid for it then. Like I’m a legit journalist or something. Instead of just a nonsense peddler.
Speaking of nonsense. It’s non sensical that we have so many people yet to pay their bonus ball money. Don’t let the fact that I like to win it every month put you off. That’s just daft. Come on. Don’t be a baby. Get your hands in your pockets.


———————————————————————————
🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 34207
———————————————————————————
———————————————————————————
💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 16 and 27
———————————————————————————
———————————————————————————
🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is June 6th 🤞🏻
———————————————————————————
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
🎶🎶 EVERYTHING CHANGES 🎶🎶
A TAKE THAT TRIBUTE SHOW
⭐️ Friday June 5th. Tickets £5 ⭐️
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

🔹Friday🔹 - STRIKE TWICE are here! Like a double strike to the heart seeing Mo and Robbo bid farewell to Anfield yesterday. Strike Twice are a duo that, although weren’t integral to the resurgence of Liverpools domestic and European dominance, they probably were important in other aspects. Mainly singing I imagine.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- RAIN are here too! And by the time Saturday comes round, the literal rain probably will be here. Payment for five days of sunshine, or summer as it’s known round here.
Joing the duo will be… bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side. Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s JACKPOT BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, it’s not overly busy (yet), so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? I’ve got a group of guys who scoffed at Bingo last year, who now have their own monogrammed bingo boards. That’s not even a joke! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of JACKPOT BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻