06/05/2026
💀👏 CONGRATULATIONS WESTMINSTER 👏💀
Firstly, apologies for being a bit quiet this weekend…a busy beer festival has kept me far away from my phone! 🎪🍺 And perhaps it was my last one…
Because I’ve just seen the latest BBC News report! 🚨
And Sky News! 🚨
And The Telegraph! 🚨
And literally anywhere else you look right now… 🚨🚨🚨
And if you aren't fuming, you aren't paying attention!
📣Two pubs a day are being boarded up!
📣 That’s 161 locals gone in three months.
📣 ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY ONE!!!
📣 2,400 people out of work, while the bureaucrats shuffle their papers and wonder why the "High Street is struggling."
I’ll tell you why: You’re literally bleeding us dry! 🩸
They talk about "tax relief" and "support funds" like they’re doing us a massive favour. It’s a f*cking joke! 🤡
I’ve said it before and I will fu***ng well say it again: a 15% tweak on business rates is like putting a plaster on a severed leg! 🩹🦵
Between the insane energy bills, rates that belong in a sci-fi novel, and beer duty that makes a pint feel like a luxury investment, it’s a miracle any of us are still turning the lights on! ❌💡
The "experts" call it a shifting of consumer habits. I call it people not being able to afford a night out because the government’s got its hand so deep in our pockets they’re touching our *ahem*…socks! 🧦
Pretty soon, your "local" will be a row of self-service checkouts and a lukewarm tin of discount lager. 🛒
No atmosphere, no banter, no soul. Just a quiet country where everyone sits at home staring at a wall because the community hubs have been taxed into the graveyard. 🪦
IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP BEFORE THE LIGHTS GO OUT:
👉 GET OFF THE SOFA: If you value having a roof over your head that isn't your own living room, get down to your local this week. Buy a pint, buy a packet of nuts, buy anything. A pub with no punters is just a museum, and I’m not a curator.
👉 SHARPEN YOUR PENS: Write to your MP. Tell them the "Hospitality Support Fund" is a drop in the ocean. Demand they scrap the business rates hike and actually give us a fair crack at surviving. Demand they look at hospitality VAT in all of our neighbouring European countries and actually wake the f*ck up!
👉 SHARE THIS: Make sure everyone knows that "Last Orders" isn't a warning anymore - it’s the eulogy.
Don’t moan when the sign goes up and the doors stay locked. Use it, support it, or watch it turn into yet another block of "luxury" flats. 🏚️
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an electricity meter to go and cry at. 😭
