12/10/2026
🍻 THE DOCKERS WEEKLY UPDATE 🍻
Oohhh boy… another crazy week full of surprises, mishaps and excitement! 🤣
Where to begin?!
How is it Monday again already? This week has felt like a midlife crisis!
Like wading through mud, fighting your way towards that little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel…
Soooooo, deep breath… ARE YOU READY?! 👀
MONDAY, TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY…
Monday went as planned. Tuesday and Wednesday? Textbook! YES!! 🙌
Start the week well and surely it can only continue in the same fashion, right?!
WRONG. 🤦♀️🤣
Clearly, the entire team is now suffering from some sort of PTSD, memory loss or general confusion.
The conversations have become:
“I’m sure that wasn’t me!”
“Did I do that?”
“What day is it?”
I mean, I can say the week started well, BUT…
In the middle of our amazing staff just being absolutely amazing, the WiFi has been coming and going almost as much as our energy levels. Unfortunately, it’s set to remain as unstable as the committee until we can sort out something more suitable! 📶😂
THURSDAY… DELIVERY DAY! 🚚
The day we all dread.
The day of the missing delivery.
Where’s the cauliflower? Did the broccoli arrive? And OMG… WHERE’S THE BEEPING RICE?!
Well, it all started with a message…
“Did you mean to order 54 boxes of chips?”
FIFTY-FOUR BOXES!
That’s four bags in a box… 216 BAGS OF CHIPS!
That’s damn right mental! 🤣🤣🤣
NOOOOOO! DON’T SEND THEM!
I mean, who on earth has enough freezer space for all that?! We’d need to build another extension just to store the bloody things! 😂
Then came the conspiracy theories.
“How on earth could this have happened?”
Red faces. Denials. Accusations.
“I didn’t do that!”
“That’s physically impossible!”
“PLEASE ONLY SEND FOUR!”
WHAT DAY IS IT AGAIN?! 🤣
And just when we thought we’d survived that drama, the phone rang…
THE DELIVERY LORRY HAD BROKEN DOWN! 😱
Ohhh jeeezzzz!
Honestly, when we get these calls, it’s straight to panic stations.
OMG, nobody’s getting Sunday lunch!
And the curry?!
And the jacket potatoes?!
OH, THOSE ARE ON THE DELIVERY TOO!
I mean, how on earth do you have curry night without rice?! 🍛
You have to understand that Maria takes her takeaway weekends VERY seriously! 😂
So, Sarah pulls out her cape once again, charging towards the car with gusto and determination in her eyes…
Then she stops.
Looks at the car.
And realises…
HOW ON EARTH DO YOU FIT SUNDAY LUNCH FOR 60 PEOPLE INTO A CORSA?! 🤣🤣🤣
Quick car swap, and she’s off!
I mean, it was THAT dramatic. The lorry had broken down at Berkeley services, so obviously she needed to thank them for their hospitality with a purchase…
The infamous meal deal it was! 🤤😂
A quick swap of the delivery, and away we went!
Sunday lunch was SAVED… and so were the four boxes of chips! 🙌🍟
FRIDAY BREAKFAST… WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?! 🍳
Friday breakfast is just fabulous. I think it’s probably one of our favourite days at the club…
Hmmm… perhaps not last week, though! 😂
The phone rings.
“THE COOKER WON’T WORK!”
Now, the kitchen had a full MOT at the beginning of the week.
You’ve had a professional contractor in. Everything should be fine. What could possibly go wrong?!
Who thinks to check the equipment before Friday breakfast? 🤦♀️🤣
So, Maria and Teresa had to pull another miracle out of the bag!
We have dock workers to feed. It’s a particularly chilly morning, and they need their warm start to the day.
Sausage bap?!
I can practically hear the cries of “I NEED BACON!” from two miles away! 🥓😂
As Sarah rushes to the club, Maria and Teresa have everything under control.
Although, I will add that cooking eggs on a griddle is NOT ideal and certainly isn’t as easy as it looks!
Then came the boxes of eggs…
Mostly broken in the box. And if they weren’t broken, the yolks were!
Ahhhhh, NO!
We cannot and WILL NOT serve a broken yolk! 🍳🤣
CONTINGENCY PLAN ACTIVATED!
The contractor turned up and sorted the extractor fan for us. Turns out, a stuck valve was stopping the gas from turning on because of the airflow.
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED?! 🤷♀️😂
Maria and Teresa saved the Dockers breakfast once again!
And Ally saved the entire weekend menu, getting everything organised and making sure someone came out to get the kitchen up and running again.
Honestly, our kitchen team deserves medals! 🏅❤️
AND JUST WHEN YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH…
Uhhhhhh… whatever next?!
I could tell you about the tiled shed roof that’s collapsing.
I could tell you that we have absolutely no idea where we’re going to find the money to allocate to everything that needs doing.
We’re having to prioritise funds all over again, make difficult decisions and look at every possible way to save money.
We’re even looking at reducing the number of urinals to cut the water bill. We know this decision has upset some customers, but when the costs keep climbing, where else can we tighten our belts?
And just for good measure, the Government has blessed us with another tax increase.
Gambling duty has doubled to 40%. 🎰
Because, of course, we didn’t have enough on our plates already!
But do you know what?
WE SHALL CONTINUE!
We will push on. We will adapt. We will keep finding ways to make this club work for our community.
Because that’s what we do. ❤️
ANYWAY… WHERE WAS I?! 🤣
Ah yes, the food!
🍗 Friday night takeaway: Wings and burgers are definitely becoming a firm favourite!
🐟 Saturday night takeaway: Fish-and-chip-style takeaway, and it was very nice indeed!
🍽️ Sunday lunch: Another 60 servings… AND SOLD OUT!
A massive thank you to everyone who continues to support our kitchen. Every meal bought makes a difference. ❤️
🏆 SPORTING UPDATE 🏆
🎱 Pool league is going well, and our players are practising hard. Of course, it’s just a friendly competition! 🤣🤣
🎳 Skittles season has started strongly, with a few new teams joining us. Brilliant to see!
🎯 Darts — we’ve had a team join us, which is just lovely! They’re a lovely group of people, and we’re looking forward to the new league starting in November.
🃏 Crib has begun! If anyone fancies joining them, they’d be very happy to welcome new players on a Monday evening. Come along and give it a go!
🤣 AND THEN THERE’S THE DOCKERS COMMITTEE…
They’re big, they’re strong, and they’re currently rocking in a corner! 😂😭
But I will tell you this…
THE DOCKERS COMMITTEE ARE COMMITTED! ❤️
We have one hell of a team.
We pull together, we get the job done, we laugh A LOT, and do you know what?
WE ARE GOOD AT THIS! 💪🔥
We might occasionally look like we need rescuing, we might question our life choices, and we might be rocking in that corner for a little while…
BUT WE GET BACK UP AGAIN!
SHARPNESS COMMUNITY, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. ❤️
I honestly cannot express enough gratitude to the people on our team who literally give up their lives and every spare moment they have to keep this club going.
The Dockers is run entirely by our committee, volunteers and our fabulous staff. These are people who give their time, energy and often far more than anyone ever sees, because they care about this club and what it means to our community.
And that’s something really special.
This club is held together by old-school teamwork, community spirit, the roots of days gone by, and the memories of those who are sadly no longer with us but worked so hard to keep it going for years before us.
We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us, and we carry that spirit forward with the support of all of you. 🍻❤️
Honestly, there are SO many people with SO many memories of the Dockers that somebody really should write a book!
The stories, the characters, the laughs, the friendships, the history… and now, apparently, 216 bags of chips! 🤣🍟
It’s all part of our story.
❤️ AND FINALLY… OUR DOCKERS FAMILY ❤️
Before I leave you all exhausted — and I know you’ll be feeling our collective PTSD weighing heavily on your shoulders after reading this post, which could quite easily qualify as a short story — I really need to thank our wonderful staff AGAIN!
Because behind every delivery disaster, broken cooker, dodgy WiFi connection and last-minute panic, there is a team of people who just get on with it.
When things get too much, we hear…
“ARE YOU GOING TO MAN UP NOW?”
And weirdly enough, that works! 🤣🔥🤘
Or…
“What can I do? What do you need me to do to make this easier?”
And THAT is what it’s all about.
People stepping up. People helping each other. People caring enough to find a solution rather than walking away when things get difficult.
We might be skint, exhausted, occasionally confused about what day it is, and one broken appliance away from a collective breakdown…
BUT WE’RE STILL HERE. 💪
To our staff, our volunteers, our committee, our sporting teams and everyone who continues to support the Dockers…
YOU ARE BLOODY FABULOUS! ❤️🍻
And to our customers — thank you for your patience, your support, your custom and for putting up with the occasional bit of Dockers chaos!
We couldn’t do it without you.
THE DOCKERS ISN’T JUST A CLUB. IT’S A COMMUNITY. ❤️
So, I think the song “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba — the one that tells us we get knocked down and get back up again — 100% represents exactly where we are right now! 🎶🤘
We might get knocked down by bills, broken equipment, dodgy WiFi, delivery disasters and the occasional committee meltdown…
BUT WE WILL GET UP AGAIN!
Because we’re the Dockers. Because we’re a team. And because this club means something to people.
WATCH THIS SPACE! 👀
Our next event will be shared very shortly, and believe me…
WE ARE ALL IN! 🔥
Have the most fabulous day, people.
Look after each other, support your local club, and remember…
WE GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT WE GET UP AGAIN! 🍻❤️🤘
OVER AND OUT! 😂
