The Scotsmen Tenerife

02/06/2026

Calling all the Tartan Army on holiday in Tenerife! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🌴 Where are we watching the pre-tournament friendly? Get yourselves down to The Scotsmen Pool Bar at Yucca Park, Playa Fanabe. Saturday at 9 PM, we've got the Scotland game ON. Let's see how the lads are looking ahead of the big ones! 💪 Bar opens at midday for pre-match drinks. 🍻

31/05/2026

Well it's Sunday so that can only mean one thing...time for this weeks stupidity round up.

❗️DISCLAIMER - We know a couple of you seem to have been emotionally triggered by last weeks post so if you can't take a joke and don't have a sense of humour we suggest you don't read any further ❗️.

1. Pretty quiet day with at least 6 tables clean and ready for customers to sit at, 1 dirty table in the bar which we have not got to yet with dirty glasses, place mats on the table. Where do the next customers that come in decide to sit ?...Yes thats right on the dirty table. Sorry but what is the though process behind this when you can sit at any other table 😂.

2. Customer (or not) comes in 3 days in a row to ask for ice to put in water which they have not bought from us and they have never used the bar once for a drink when asked on the 4th day if they actually want to buy a drink to go with it they seem offended. Sorry but are we in the wrong here, would you walk into a pub or shop in the UK and expect to ask for ice for drinks you have not bought from them 🤔.

3. Customer looks all through the menu at the cocktails then asks for Pina Colada which is not on the menu. Well if we sold it then it would be on the menu (this ones just a joke because you know who you are and asked to be included 😂😂😂).

4. So for last 4 years 2 of us have worked in the bar with someone in the kitchen making the food. When one of us is busy running out the kitchen with food to tables and you ask 'are you on yourself today' take a minute and think who is cooking the food and working in the kitchen Mickey f***ing Mouse, naw pal you guessed it its the other one of us 😂.

Thats it for this week hope nobody has been emotionally hurt too much this week reading it but if you have been then close the door on your way out and for the rest of you no doubt we will be back next week with more 👋 👍🤣.

29/05/2026

29/05/2026

⚽️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 TODAYS SCOTLAND FRIENDLY⚽️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

🕚 OPEN 11AM

🍟 BAR SNACKS SERVED 11AM - 4:30PM (MENU BELOW)

28/05/2026

The Great Debate here at The Scotsmen:

Scottish Water vs. Spanish Nectar 🍻🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇸

​Awrite regulars and future punters, we are throwing a bit of controversy into the mix today 🤣

​We know the script - mention the big Red T back hame in Scotland and it instantly starts a full-scale debate. Half of ye swear by it, half of ye wouldny wash your motor wae it.

​BUT... we also know a massive crowd of our lovely English, Irish, and Welsh regulars literally hunt us down in Playa Fanabe just because we’ve got it cold on tap! 👏👌🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

​Meanwhile, oan the other side of the ring, we’ve got Estrella Levante - the absolute taste of a sun-baked Murcia afternoon. The ultimate "holiday in a glass" liquid gold. ☀️

​So we want tae settle this right noo. Wit side ae the bar are you sitting oan ?

​👇 DROP YER VOTE IN THE COMMENTS:

1️⃣ SCOTTISH WATER (Tennent's)
2️⃣ SPANISH NECTAR (Estrella)

​Get voting, tag your drinking partner, and let the battle begin. Best comment gets a proper head on their next pint! 😉👇

26/05/2026

🎶 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 NO SCOTLAND NO PARTY 🎶 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 We are absolutly buzzing for this one... How is the squad looking ? Time will tell 💪

Get yerselves booked in 🍻🍾

26/05/2026

❓️Whats your plans for the World Cup in June... Where will you be watching it ❓️

This is a Throwback to when we qualified ! Awww what an IMMENSE night it was 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🍻⚽️ This video got close to 50,000 views. Not bad for a wee scottish bar in Tenerife. We are absolutly buzzing for the matches in June, however dissapointed we wont be able to show the games due to K.O times, licencing, and complex rules 😢

25/05/2026

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿⚽️ SCOTLAND FRIENDLY🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿⚽️

SATURDAY 1PM - TAKING BOOKINGS

LETS SEE HOW THE TEAMS LOOKING IN THE LEAD UP TO THE BIG GAMES 💪

25/05/2026

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿⚽️ TONIGHTS FOOTBALL 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿⚽️

24/05/2026

We are back from holiday and at the moment its pretty quiet however that doesn't mean the stupidity brigade has not been out 😂.

We did warn you that stupidity would be called out from now on and you didn't listen🤣, no real major w⚓️'s this week but here is the round up:

1. In the bar on Tuesday setting back up for opening to be asked by people walking past 'so are you getting ready to open back up ?'. Naw pal we just came down to set up the bar for a bit of fun 😂.

2. Serving our limited food menu which is in the menu covers on the tables and in plastic inserts covering our normal menu at the moment, only for 2 customers to remove them from the covers and try to start ordering from the covered up menu when told its covered up for a reason they look at us like we are stupid. Sorry use your common sense 😂.

3. Massive A board outside advertising the Scottish Cup Final to be asked by someone walking in if we are showing the Cup Final which is advertised on the boards. Again Naw we just wrote it on the boards for fun 😂.

4. During the cup final a customer arrives 15 minutes into the game when the bar is full to decide once again to drag a chair over and block the entry and exit to the bar because they can't see the TV's when asked to move the answer was 'well if anybody wants in or out they can tap me on the shoulder'. Don't think so pal get shifted and if you want a good seat turn up half an hour before like the rest of the bar has done 😂.

Anyway thats this weeks round up of stupidity lets see what next week has in store if our sanity lasts that long 🤣.