Woronora RSL

30/10/2026

This weekend at the Wonnie 🤩

29/10/2026

🎤🎶 FRIDAY NIGHT KARAOKE AT WORONORA RSL! 🎶🎤

Ready to sing your heart out? 🌟

Wonniokie Karaoke is back next Friday, 6th November, and it's time to grab the microphone, choose your favourite song and have some fun! 🎵

🎤 Wonniokie Karaoke
📅 Friday 6th November
⏰ Starts at 6pm
🔞 Adults only from 8:30pm
📍 Woronora RSL – 118 Prince Edward Park Rd, Woronora

Whether you're a karaoke superstar or just coming along for a laugh, everyone is welcome!

🎶 Grab your mates and make a night of it!

28/10/2026

THE LINK REPORT
28 October 2026

Chaos in the Valley this week with plans to introduce a Halloween festival canned after event organisers admitted they were unable to distinguish between visiting ghouls and zombies and actual Woronora residents.

"They looked absolutely authentic”, said event coordinator Janet Weiss. “We'd spent hundreds of dollars on professional makeup, fake blood and prosthetic wounds, only to discover that half the blokes coming out the Wonnie RSL club looked exactly the same without any of it.”

"We don't need fake cobwebs, plastic skeletons or people dressed as the undead”, Weiss continued. ”We've got three generations of blokes who've been sitting at the same table since 1975."

Woronora River Valley Chamber of Commerce spokesperson Frank Ennferter said the reaction was to be expected.

“Woronora residents have been perfecting the art of frightening visitors for decades”, Ennferter groaned. “It’s never been easy to tell brain-dead zombies from the locals.”

In a further blow to organisers, the planned haunted house attraction was cancelled, after local resident Josef Fritzl offered his garage as a venue. Organisers discovered that the interior already contained a freezer, butchering equipment, and an unexplained smell that could not be attributed to any known living organism.

Despite the setbacks, organisers have vowed to revisit the event next year, with proposals to introduce colour-coded wristbands identifying genuine Halloween participants.

Woronora RSL Club Media and Communications Manager, Murray Link said that the confusion was worrying for local tourism.

“They come here expecting tranquil river views and native bushland”, Link pondered. “Then they see a bloke in a blood-stained singlet yelling at a whipper-snipper, and suddenly they're asking whether Bangor might be a better option for lunch.”

WHAT’S ON THIS WEEK

THURSDAY
Thirsty Thursday - Members Badge Draw, Groovy and TGF’s Mad Music and Mirth Marathon Meat Raffle, PLUS …End of Month draw. Fisho’s Raffle and WildCard… fresh start this week.

YUVI’S CHAR & BAR - Lunch 12 - 3 and Dinner 5 - 9 Friday to Sunday.

FRIDAY
Jerry Goldfinger’s Prawn Farmers Raffle - from 5PM

NOTE: BINGO is now next Friday, the 6th.

SATURDAY
Happy hour from 1PM to 3PM

SUNDAY
Live music. The sensational MAX SMIDT in the b**r garden from 3PM . Come on down for some great tunes and a relaxing afternoon by the river. This bloke goes O…F…F!!

SSCUM - Sydney's coolest ukelele group. Bring your uke and join the fun from 4PM - In the auditorium.

TUESDAY
Melbourne Cup. The Race That Stops A Nation. TAB, sweeps - Bistro open - all from 12PM. Cup Luncheon special at Yuvi’s - see below. Booking essential.

WEDNESDAY
TRIVIA! Come and test your knowledge of all things… trivial. From 7PM. Free Entry

28/10/2026

Get ready for a fun afternoon with Max. Live from 3pm this Sunday 🎶🎉

27/10/2026

🐎 🏆 MELBOURNE CUP DAY LUNCH 🥂

Join us for the race that stops the nation! 🐎

Enjoy lunch, try your luck in a sweep and get ready for an exciting afternoon of racing!

LUNCH BOOKINGS ARE ESSENTIAL - see Bistro staff or phone 9545 1577

26/10/2026

📣 CHANGE OF OPENING HOURS 📣

24/10/2026

🎶 SUNDAY LIVE MUSIC 🎶

Unwind with good tunes, great drinks, and lazy weekend vibes.

23/10/2026

22/10/2026

You know the story.

Ya’ gotta be here to win it!

The WildCard goes off!!!

1800 big dirty clams.

21/10/2026

THE LINK REPORT
21 October 2026

The valley is abuzz this week with punters across the country abandoning Powerball and Oz Lotto for Woronora Fisho’s WildCard, now at 3 cards left, and an $1800 jackpot.

The unprecedented surge in interest has transformed the sleepy riverside suburb into Australia's newest gambling mecca, with punters descending on Woronora in the hope of turning a modest punt into enough money to pay off a Target lay-by.

"Mate, there's only three cards left," explained lifelong Woronora resident and amateur mathematician, Fomo Touring, who has spent the past decade studying the WildCards patterns.

Touring, who has invested over $14,000 in Wildcard tickets over the last 5 years, insists the current jackpot represents the closest he has ever come to financial independence.

“You're telling me some sheila in Ballina won a hundred million? Good luck to her. Bet she's never played the Fisho’s Wild Card at The Wonnie. LOSER!!!"

The news has triggered what tourism officials are describing as a once-in-a-generation economic boom for Woronora, with several coaches reportedly chartered from Newcastle, Wollongong and the Central Coast.

Local accommodation providers have also been caught off guard by the influx, with one Woronora resident reportedly offering a fold-out lounge, access to a shared bathroom and a continental breakfast consisting of two Arnott's biscuits for $280 a night.

"People are paying it," the un-named resident said. "They reckon if they win the $1800, the room practically pays for itself."

Woronora River RSL and Citizens Club management is understood to be considering different arrangements for Thursday night's draw, after reports that punters have been camping outside the club since Tuesday, with one man allegedly arriving early enough to secure a preferred position near Keith’s usual ticket selling spot.

“We’ll be putting on more security for a start”, said Club Media and Communications Manager Murray Link. “I mean, it’s lot of money and you can’t be too careful.”

“At some point, you have to ask yourself whether a $50 million lotto jackpot is really worth the hassle of buying a ticket when you could be standing beside a bloke called “Stumpy” at the Woronora RSL waiting for one of three cards to turn over."

WHAT’S ON THIS WEEK

THURSDAY
Thirsty Thursday - Members Badge Draw, Groovy and TGF’s Mad Music and Mirth Marathon Meat Raffle, Fisho’s Raffle AND…THE WILDCARD!!!!! From 7PM - WildCard is down to 3 cards and a jackpot of $1800.

YUVI’S CHAR & BAR - Lunch 12 - 3 and Dinner 5 - 9 Wednesday to Sunday.

FRIDAY
Jerry Goldfinger’s Prawn Farmers Raffle - from 5PM

SATURDAY
Happy hour from 1PM to 3PM

SUNDAY
Live music. ALEX in the b**r garden from 3PM . Come on down for some great tunes and a relaxing afternoon by the river.

SSCUM - Sydney's coolest ukelele group. Bring your uke and join the fun from 4PM - In the auditorium.

WEDNESDAY
TRIVIA! Come and test your knowledge of all things… trivial. From 7PM. Free Entry