13/11/2022
Hi, it's been a while - a long long while - and I'm long overdue to make an apology.
For many reasons, outside my control, the new Bennetts Lane that I worked hard to make a reality, is now a fading memory. I am sorry for this. The musicians who once made my home such a magical place to belong, the audiences who supported and respected them, and the incredible staff who believed in it all - to you all I am so very sorry. You placed in my care the idea of an ideal live music performance space where creative live jazz music could be nurtured and appreciated, and I have been unable to bring that idea back for you. This weighs on me, and I am sorry. I know the disappointment of broken promises, the despair of trust lost in the say-do gap, and the sense of betrayal in not knowing why. I don't really know why either - only that the threads that were woven, measured, and cut were never truly in my hands to change... I am sorry for believing they were, and I'm sorry to you for my illusions of otherwise.
An idea is a precious thing - most especially when it breaks through the reality horizon and still communicates its ideality. People speak of the 'idea of love', the 'idea of truth', the 'idea of time', and emotions, language and change wrap them in tangibles for us to grasp. The 'idea of Bennetts Lane', once wrapped in bricks, beings and programmed moments has no wrapping anymore - just the memories that it once was. I hold them dearly and, when the dreams allow, they return to remind me. But it is still an idea... a still idea, back on the other side of the reality horizon. Stuck, with me on the other side.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry...