Gail Everard - Civil Celebrant

14/08/2023

Beautiful sunset as they rain slips away this evening.

16/04/2020

How to Cope with Bereavement During the COVID-19 Pandemic
Grieving the loss of a loved one may be especially challenging right now.
Bereavement is a painful, stressful, and difficult journey at the best of times. But grieving the loss of a loved one may be especially challenging during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Why Does the Pandemic Create Additional Strain for the Bereaved?
We live in highly uncertain times, and we are surrounded by fear, anxiety, and illness. But this pandemic will be especially stressful if already grieving the loss of a loved one. Some of the reasons for increased stress may include:
• Being less able to receive in-person support from friends and family, potentially leading to a greater sense of isolation and loneliness.
• A decrease in activity levels which may lead to more "thinking" time and a reduced ability to use hobbies and interests as helpful distractions.
• High levels of social, health, and occupational uncertainty, reducing stability in life as you grieve, which can create difficulty planning for the future.
• More frequent reminders about illness and death, including the fear that you will experience further loss.
There will be other stressful factors but, as we can see, the coping resources of a bereaved person are under severe strain in the context of the pandemic. You must have a clear game plan to help manage the additional challenges caused by COVID-19.
Coping Strategies
Here are some suggestions to help support your well-being while grieving during the pandemic:
• Acknowledge that grieving at this time is more challenging than coping with loss outside a health crisis. You have additional sources of stress to contend with, so you must practice self-compassion. Signs of self-criticism might come in the form of beliefs like "I should be doing better than this" or "I am failing to keep it together." Failing to acknowledge the additional stress associated with the pandemic runs the risk of blaming yourself for something that is out of your control.
• Staying connected to others is very important if you are grieving AND socially isolated. Often we don't feel like talking to others after losing a loved one. If you lack this motivation, try to book times for phone calls and video chats. Arrange these conversations as appointments you must keep. Agree on times with people in advance so you are more likely to follow through.
• Alternate between "loss" and "restorative" activities. This idea comes from the dual-process approach to grief which says that people move been loss-related activities (e.g., looking at photos of the deceased, crying, talking about the person) and restorative exercises (e.g., making plans for the future, spending time on hobbies).
• Consider minimizing the time you spend watching the news. It is sensible to be aware of major announcements by government and health officials. Outside of that, don't watch the news if it increases your stress levels.
You might find it useful to think about how your lost loved one would like you to respond in these circumstances. You can use this exercise to help generate coping strategies.
Alternatively, if you could talk to this person in 10 years, what would you like to say about how you coped during the pandemic? These final two strategies may not suit everyone, so only use them if they are right for you.
Summing Up
Everyone is living under difficult and stressful circumstances. The pandemic will be especially challenging for the bereaved. Having a clear coping plan is essential, and some of the strategies suggested above may form a part of that plan.

09/06/2019

This week I had the privilege of assisting in the celebration of the life of a very special lady. At the end of the service we had a dove release - the first of many processes her loving family will go through on their path of healing.

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06/06/2019

These navy sealsdid't book the beach. Some hazards you can't predict!

30/05/2019

Tips to get the best response when seeking a quote for flowers for your wedding

It helps to provide...
Your contact details
Your wedding date, theme, colours, and venue
Ask if they are able to provide the flowers you require
Ask about delivery options

28/05/2019

When it comes to engagement shoots, the world is your oyster. Instead of a park or somewhere that doesn't really match who you are, you can absolutely choose to have some fun in a place you love… like a thrift store! Kristina and Peter (who happened to have just gotten married last weekend!) rocked this vintage throwback shoot at a local Goodwill including funky glasses and hats, old records, and some rolling chair races to finish it off.

26/05/2019

6 tips for inexpensive and totally stunning custom-made wedding dresses from a girl who did…..


A while back I ranted about how I think brides are best off having their wedding dresses custom made — you'll get a better fit,...

I'm getting my wedding dress custom-made and I'm so glad I went this route. As a size 16, and after watching my size 14 sister struggle to find places who even had things in her size to try on, and then settling for something at David's Bridal, I knew I was going to get a custom dress. Things NEVER fit me off the rack anyway and I did not want to deal with the aggravation.

Luckily, I have a lady who lives and works in my neighborhood who owns an alterations/custom gowns shop and she is making me the exact dress I want for $250 plus fabric! So cheap! I can't believe more people don't do this.

Tips for custom-made wedding dresses:
Know what styles work on your body

I'm extremely pear-shaped so I knew I wanted a low neckline, ruched waist, lots of structure up top to emphasize my small waist and bust, and a more flowing bottom to de-emphasize my wider hips and butt. Take a brutally honest friend and go to a store that has dresses in your size and try on different styles — but don't even think about wedding gowns. Find a garment construction that works for you and go with that style of dress. What looks good on me is going to look not as good on an apple-shaped girl and vice versa.

Be inspired by your interests
If you're a movie buff, geek, into fantasy, etc., look for dress inspiration, colors, and details from those interests.
Shop around for a dressmaker/seamstress/tailor

Lots of people make custom gowns. Ask in your circle, check in Yelp, contact local theater companies (for costumers!), check online shops, and your local yellow pages. Ask to see some samples, pay attention to quality, look at the seams, ask to see photographs, etc.

Bring in as many photos as possible
This is to show garment construction, color, style, fabric, etc. Your dressmaker will probably have her own opinions on what will work fabric-wise. For instance, my dress would work in silk or satin, but wouldn't have a chance of holding up in charmeuse. Settle on what you need and go fabric shopping.

Be your own advocate for the fit
Be brutally honest at the fitting. If you don't like the way something is fitting, make sure they take note. You have to live with the dress, so now isn't the time to be shy for the sake of being polite. Bring an advocate with you if you know you'll have issues with this part.
Have fun!

Designing your own wedding dress can be awesome. Stretch your creative muscles and enjoy the process.

25/05/2019

Here are a few favorite modern waltz choices:
• "Here We Go" by Jon Brion — This was my tippy-top choice for a first dance song.
• "Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog
• "Dark Waltz" by Haley Westenra
• "Gravity" by John Mayer
• The Edward Scissorhands theme, by Danny Elfman
• "If I Knew Then" by Lady Antebellum
• "You And Me," by Lifehouse
• "Never Tear Us Apart," by INXS
• "Neville's Waltz" from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, by Patrick Doyle
• "Come Away With Me." by Nora Jones
• "First And Last Waltz" by Nickel Creek
Your turn! What are your favorite modern waltzes?

24/05/2019

On a rainy (a sign of good luck) Autumn day, Krishna and Sujata had their Australian wedding in my lounge room. The happy group included a couple whose Australian wedding I officiated at several months ago. They then went home to India for their traditional ceremony with 1,000 guests! I love the opportunity to share different cultures in my celebrant role.