The Sloppy Tuna

06/04/2026

Be a Sloppy Tuna. Not a sloppy driver. Sunsets were free. So were the rides. Get your sloppy on and catch the shuttle.  🌅🍻

The Sloppy Tuna Circa 2011-2015

05/30/2026

Some nights started with a sunset. Some ended with stories nobody could explain. 🌅 🍻 Montauk summers hit different.

05/28/2026

Before it became part of the mythology, the Chum Bucket started as a questionable idea somewhere deep inside the Slopology Lab hidden in the rafters of the Tuna. A bunch of highly trained — and occasionally over-served — Slopologists mixing classified juices into Malibu buckets nobody thought would become iconic.

Then it happened.

One sip turned into a summer. One bucket turned into a tradition. And somehow everybody ended up remembering exactly where they were holding one.

Served during Sloppy Hour. Packed with juice, ice, bad decisions, good stories, and whatever was left of your voice the next morning.

INGREDIENTS:
🥥 Malibu Coconut
🍍 Pineapple Juice
🍌 Banana
🍊 Orange Juice
🍒 Cranberry Juice

⚠️ (Slopologist Not Included)

05/24/2026

There’s always that one guy who thinks the story ends when you leave the room.
One guy who hides behind a Bloomberg keyboard, whispering in the dark.
One guy who mistakes your absence for your disappearance.
However, The Sloppy Tuna seems to have quite a few.

Beige — you’re the living example of all of them.
The prototype.
The mascot of the ones who watch quietly and talk loudly.

Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean I’m not coming back.

The Tuna rises with the sun — not when you think it’s safe.
And Wall Street is about to get a few surprises.

ATB,
DD

Sloppy Tuna

05/10/2026

Sun’s going down, but the stories are just getting started. 🌅🐟

Somewhere between the last wave and the first drink… that’s where the Tuna lives.

05/09/2026

Tag yourself, your friends or send us your time at Sloppy Tuna.

04/26/2026

Montauk never left.
Some stories just needed time.