05/28/2026
Maturity is realizing that in the film Titanic, Rose decides to throw away a $250 million pendant in memory of an unemployed man she slept with exactly once—a man who never even owned the necklace. She completely disregards the fact that the explorer who brought her to the wreck had built his entire career around finding that necklace. Yet, she held onto it for decades, on the off chance she’d end up at the wreck site again, just to chuck it into the ocean for no good reason… and croaks in his bed. Then goes and waltzes passed her husband in the afterlife to meet up with her 3 day fling!
Meanwhile, she conveniently leaves out the part where she let Jack—the “three-day love of her life”—freeze to death because she couldn’t scoot over a bit on the giant door. Oh, and maybe, just maybe, her husband of many years might’ve liked to know she’d been hanging onto a $250 million necklace all that time? How about her granddaughter, who was caring for her? An early retirement fund, anyone?
The real villain of Titanic? Ready for it? Not Cal, not even the iceberg—it was Rose. Still love that movie, though.
