02/18/2014
Cool Things About Being a Man
1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2- Your or***ms are real. Always.
3- Your last name stays put.
4- The garage is all yours.
5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend
from getting laid.
7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices
your new haircut.
9- Hot wax never comes near your p***c area.
10- Same work, more pay.
11- Wrinkles add character.
12- You don't have to leave the room to make
emergency crotch adjustments.
13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental
$100.00
14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen
15- People never glance at your chest when
you're talking to them.
16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet.
17- One mood, all the damn time.
18- Phone conversations are over in 30
seconds.
19- A five-day vacation requires only 1
suitcase.
20- You can open all your own jars.
21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.
22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack.
23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the
passenger's seat.
25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26- You can quietly watch a game with your
buddy for hours without ever thinking"he must
be mad at me".
27- No maxi-pads.'
28- If another guy shows up at the party in the
same outfit, you just might become lifelong
friends.
29- You are not expected to know the names of
more than five colors.
30- You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades.
33- Your belly usually hides your big hips
34- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one
color, all seasons.
35- You can"do"your nails with a pocketknife.
36- Christmas shopping can be accomplished
for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37- The world is your urinal. xD
:v :v
