06/16/2024
I’ve been the richest of rich and the poorest of poor, nothing impresses me! Nothing. yet in the worst of my times when I wanted to give up 100,000 times this week I melted and was humiliated Buy a little thump on my hand, the very fast sound of a tiny, tiny little heart that made my generational broken traumatized heart MELT! Giving up” f that! in that fast heartbeat there was no longer a thought of giving up and letting go of that/their BS - With guilt- pleading for forgiveness to my 3 hot flames, my ART my personal work of ART! I have to be a better do better let go of s**t man! for FIN.. omg so much s**t I don’t want him to know about me, f**k!!! (Specially “Vader “) but there’s 10000000 x more s**t I wanna show/him. Like slurp his noodles, eat w chopsticks and open the door for Everyone! (Do__?) OMG the news s**t I have to do!! I don’t want him to know I waited 17 years for a man to love me. That I didn’t like anyone in my family. That I was broken- unrepairable at a baby age. He’s gonna get a special GiGi. I’ll teach him how to drink from the water hose, how to say f**k it- put sit on it and keep on trucken, I also how I can teach him what is foreign to me now like patience, trust and unconditional love- ! I’m going to gift him what wasn’t given to me with my arms extended as far as I can reach! And if I f**k up along the way his mommz an pappapz will be there to explain why I’m not that bright .. (yea right huh?) jkjusskitten” omgd”.
s**t s**t what to do now!!! F**k why The F**k am I so Worried I can’t Contain Any kind Of Fakeness even if you paid me.
Hopefully by then all my grandkids just like my Amelias my BFFB KNOWS no matter what I’m going to be there like their motherf**king shadow , chicken pox c19 .. just kidding, just kidding just kidding… like a pillar just standing by just in case!. Their parents need me I will never be fart away!!!
