F**king 40 is a graphic novel written by Ed Siemienkowicz. Ed wrote all 246 pages of ‘F**king Forty’ panel-for-panel after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, but it’s not about cancer. It covers his 40th self-described “Worst year of my life”. It’s a story about struggling for purpose amidst seemingly insurmountable obstacles - about constantly trying to ‘get back on the horse’ only to be k
icked off again and again. Soured romances, career derailments, ‘what ifs’ and existential crisis culminate in a very real and very scary diagnosis on the last page. He sketched-out 20 pages of FF, completely finished the first, and then he paused to focus on recovery. Ed was so brave. He always put on a strong face. During treatments and recovery he educated and updated friends about his treatments through comics that can still be seen at edshimmy.com . Ed always made everyone feel like it was going to be OK, that’s why it was a shock when he was suddenly gone. Ed had planned to write a second novel working-titled ‘How Cancer Saved My Life’ about all the happy stories that happened after FF. The celebrations, life, and relationships he formed when he was in recovery - but Ed never got to write that story, just live it. His partner Vanessa will handle that now in the form of an ‘afterward’ in the book. Whether it was karaoke or cosplay, parties, or cafe draw-dates - Ed liked getting people together to do cool stuff. Ed always included everyone, even if you couldn’t sing. He saw the value in storytelling and preserving moments. That’s why it’s only fitting that 130 close and would-be friends from every skill-level gather together with Ed one final time to do something cool, to finish his story.
