D Finest WIne

29/09/2020

Children and happiness are the benefits of marriage but they are not the goal of marriage. The Goal of marriage is to propagate the Kingdom of God on earth.

29/09/2020

Marriage is never man's idea. God instituted Marriage.

Before you take the step to marry anyone, go to God first

27/09/2020

For your marriage to work, you must be deliberate.

28/12/2017

*What Are the Five Love Languages?*

From Dr Gary Chapman's book of same title. He actually helps to break down and decode the different ways in which people communicate with their partners, so we can finally take the mystery out of what our significant other really wants and expects from us.

So what exactly are these languages he speaks of? According to Dr. Chapman, there are five universal ways that all people express and interpret love. Through his more than 30 years of couples counseling, Dr. Chapman has noticed specific patterns in the way partners communicate — and it turns out that most of the population express and interpret love in the same five ways, according to his observations.

These expressions and interpretations are his famous five love languages.

Let's finally learn what the love languages are.

1. Words of affirmation

According to Dr. Chapman, this language uses words to affirm other people. For those who prefer the words of affirmation language, hearing "I love you" and other compliments are what they value the most. Words hold real value within this language. Furthermore, negative or insulting comments cut deep — and won't be easily forgiven.

2. Quality time

This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Unlike the words of affirmation language, talk is cheap and being a loved one's main focus leaves quality timers feeling satisfied and comforted. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful to these individuals. Being there for them is crucial.

3. Receiving gifts

Dr. Chapman says for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a tangible gift. This doesn't necessarily mean the person is materialistic, but a meaningful or thoughtful present it was makes them feel appreciated.

4. Acts of service

For these people, actions speak louder than words. People who speak the language of service want their partner to recognize that their life is roug

26/05/2017

24/05/2017

If you're a couple, we invite you to come and lets learn together.

16/05/2017

This is exclusively for couples!

31/01/2017

SISTERS PLS BE CAREFUL WITH SO CALLED FRIENDS!

by Oshin Oluwatoyin

“Biyi has. n’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”
…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone....
Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I asked. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argued silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as well be a widow.”
The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.
“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protested and upset.
“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking?
“Nine, ten…ish.”
Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.” Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never—” “Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride. Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.
“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I forced myself to hear what Dayo was saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionair e-oil- company-golden-husband. Gosh I envy her life and her perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair. Honestly.
“I am Biyi’s wife,” I said. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”
“I—”
“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.”
“But—”
“Starve him,” she adds. “No s*x. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”
Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I said to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang up with a sigh.
My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired and drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuated my compassion. “Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you to tell you I was stuck in traffic severally but I kept getting your voicemail. What’s wrong?” I cocked my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car!! Spending my money!! My head spins. “Biyi,” I glared at him, “Where are you coming from?” He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham—”
“Did you get it?” I screeched. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!”
He thrusts the car keys into my palm. I pushed past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”
“Get out of my way.”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house and jumped into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I felt like an idiot.
* * *
I pulled up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I heard Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womaniser of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…”
Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I wanted to call the police, do something…anything. But I could not move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listened as my friend is pummelled by her husband.
The beating stops. I should dash to my car but something holds me back. “I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.”
“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.”
That was enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.
* * *
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Dennis beats her up? And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.”
“That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I couldn’t have asked for a better wife.” I couldn’t reply. My throat is lumpy.
“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?”
* * *
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart ###.”
I typed a quick response back: “Ciao!" and I quickly deleted her number right away.
this is one story every woman should read. The grass is never greener on the other side, best to believe that. No matter how good a friend’s marriage is, NEVER EVER compare your marriage!

25/01/2017

A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE!!!

People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business, they'll say "Ahh Oga Ejike, go and marry so you'll stop washing".

They'll see a man cooking and be like "Bro Ade, you need to get married so you can stop cooking".

A mother will look at his 35years old son who cannot wash his own boxers, boil water for tea or even make his own bed, a 35years old that cannot take his plates to the kitchen after eating and tell him "James, you need to settle down, get a woman to take care of you". SERIOUSLY?? 😳😳

In different ways, the society subconsciously tell men that they don't marry women for any reason other than cleaning, cooking and childbearing. I begin to wonder, does the average man need a wife or a glorified maid?

Many women look 3times their age all because of stress and exhaustion. You sit down in front of the TV with your phone and watch your wife work until she's about to pass out. REALLY?? 😱

Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash your own plates?

Who told you that it is wrong to wash your own clothes?

Who told you that it is wrong to dress your bed when you wake up?

What will it take to help your partner with chores in the house?

If a man wanted to be adopted as a child to be pet, pampered, fed and nursed. Then, he need not to seek marriage, he should rather offer himself up for an adoption at a motherless home to be pick up.

BUT If you want a wife, who you would love, cherish, do different things with, assist in some chores, and love her for the rest of your life, then get married.

AND if you are getting married because you feel you're becoming too old to do your own chores then get a maid.

Women are to be cherished, pampered and loved, not USED. Likewise men too😊😊

21/09/2016

SINGLES & S*X 3.
MA********ON PROBLEMS.
Last week we addressed the issue of s*xual fables and misconceptions amongst the singles. Today I want to broach a sensitive issue which is s*xual entanglements and habits amongst singles, I.e those s*xual activities that singles often gets involved in which are not technically s*x as in coitus but still are s*xual and often hooks them.
Today, the first one I will pick is:
MA********ON
The above situation can be said to be the commonest of all the s*xual entanglements amongst singles, in fact, everywhere I go to talk on relationships, ma********on always comes up, today, I believe God for the wisdom to trash this issue out and I'm going to be as sincere, practical, logical but truthful as possible. It may be a long read but worth the while.
The major question about Ma********on is this : IS MA********ON A SIN? Is it wrong? The million dollar masturbative question, lolll.
The first thing I need to first clarify is that, contrary to the believe amongst many Xtian singles, having s*xual arousal or feelings is not wrong or a sin, it's a normal and expected feeling in any matured person, in fact, those feelings were specifically wired into you by God in preparation for s*xual fulfilment in marriage. I call them the Gizgiz factor or feeling. That warm feelings in between your thighs, the butterfly in your tummy, that tingling electricity sensation, that hard on for you guys etc that you all feel intermitently either with an opposite s*x that you are attracted to or even at other times is perfectly Normal. All these feelings of guilt You are having for having s*xual urges is unnecessary, all those prayers and fasting for God to make you to never feel them will not be answered. Your s*xualty is a natural gift from God to be used in marriage. If you are a matured single and you have never ever felt such emotions at one time or another, pls don't keep quiet, contact your pastor quickly O, I'm serious please.
Where the problem comes in is when you are unable to control it, often as a result of the unhealthy stimuli many singles expose themselves to, when you are constantly "Gizmalised", everytime, your own s*xual network is forever on, you are on a permanent s*xual data subscription, you are a certified walking, talking and breathing s*xual Thuraya with a permanent satellite connection to Gizgiz feelings, Ah! That one too needs pastoral intervention O!!, don't keep quiet Pls, stop struggling in silence every problem has a solution, seek help now!!. But those normal intermitent stuff is expected and healthy, stop the guilt trip on those ones please, just control yourself. But it is now this s*xual awakening in many of us that becomes too strong and difficult for us to control that often now encourages ma********on.
Now to ma********on, Unnnn, Holy Spirit help me. You see, the truth is that it will not be right and it is quite difficult to say outrightly that ma********on is a sin, but I can categorically say that it can lead to sin and so should be avoided. This is because the Bible was quite silent about the issue, probably because the kind of life that was prevalent in those days does not even give room to stuffs or ideas like ma********on, but times have really changed, also most of the scriptures that we quote are inferences that we personally make, they do not directly suggest the issue let alone refer directly to it. Again Psychologically and Clinically ma********on is believed to be a part of development and even ther**eutic. I remember clearly during my masters program in Guidance and counseling, we were taught under s*xual psychology that every child goes through the ph***ic stage where in they just become overly fascinated with their ge****ls and just keep playing with it and that for some emotional reasons some adults reverse to that stage along the way to deal with certain emotional issues and trauma.
It has also been discovered that actually, at least about 7 out of every 10 individuals have either masturbated sometimes in their lives or are still ma********ng, even some married do it especially when away for long from their spouses. I'm telling you all this first because in case you are out there battling with this issue, you need to know you are not alone, you are not a pariah or outcast, others have been there, God helped them, He can and will help you too. I have personally discovered that most, not all but most people who masturbates or have masturbated actually stumbled on it, what do I mean? Let me explain.
You see, when a young person first awakens to their s*xualty, it's a confusing thing, this strong feelings are suddenly coursing through their system like a whirlwind, unfortunately when it starts many young people have no one to talk to, most parents are unapproachable, so they are often all alone carrying this tension around. Now remember that s*xual arousal or urges is like a tightly wound wire that pulls your body tight, it causes this tension fighting to be released, Paul testified to this in 1st cor 7:3-4 (message) when he called it a STRONG feeling... Now majority of that tension is concentrated around the ge****ls in an almost aching manner, so when the average single who just awakens s*xually finds him or herself alone with this ache in their ge***al area, they instinctively reach out to sooth themselves and suddenly discovers they achieve a release of the tension and from then on becomes hooked. Ma********on becomes the o***m of release for them.
The above is also why some schools of thought have defended and even encouraged ma********on because they argue that it's a way of helping singles to maintain s*xual purity till marriage since by ma********ng the single can keep relieving s*xual tension instead of going into fornication, so they opined and reasoned that it's a sort of way out and protection BUT I don't really agree with them. The first question here is that if the above opinion is so correct, how come everytime these singles masturbates, they always feel terrible afterwards, I'm yet to meet a case where after doing it the guy or lady doesn't experience this hopelessness and guilt, why that feeling everytime. To me that's an indication that instinctively those involved in it somehow sense that it's not the best for them.
I wouldn't outrightly call ma********on a sin but it can lead to sin and it is therefore very dangerous and should be avoided and these are my reasons.
DANGERS OF MA********ON
1. Everyone who masturbates eventually becomes it's prisoner, no matter how innocently it starts, the perpetrator eventually becomes hooked, Looses control to it, become subject to its power and cannot do without it, and so eventually breaks the scriptures that says, you must never be brought under the power of anything. Ma********on makes you an addict.
2. Ma********on is a proof that you lack s*xual discipline and control, by ma********ng, you are proving to yourself and everyone that you have no self discipline, you cannot control your feelings, once you have an urge, you just have to give in which is an insult to God who created man to rule over all things. Everytime you mastubate, what you are saying is that I'm a weakling, I can't say No, which is a lie from the pit of hell, you can say No and you are definitely not a weakling. The truth is that if you use ma********on as an escapist technique to avoid training your self control, it's still futile because that same lack of discipline will still rear its ugly head even after you marry, that's why a lot of people misbehave s*xually even after marrying. Ma********on is not the solution to s*xual urges or tension, developing a strong self control is.
3. A scripture that I stumbled on which I quoted part of up there suggests to me that ma********on is not God's perfect will, the Bible says in that 1st cor 7: 3-6(message) that "s*xual drives are strong but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling s*xual life in a world of s*xual disorder". See that! That suggests to me that any other avenue that we may employ to attain s*xual pleasure outside of marriage is not balanced, fulfilling or healthy which is why I believe ma********on should be strongly avoided and discouraged. It makes a ridicule out of God's beautiful plan for s*xual fufilment.
4. Finally, if ma********on is to preserve s*xual purity then it obviously have done a particularly poor job of it and why? Sexual purity consists of more than an action or in action. Purity is more than the condition of the body, it's also a state of the mind, so if all who masturbates are often riddled with so much guilt and condemnation after each episode, then it means that ma********on has sacrificed their mental purity and health for the bodily one which makes no sense. Why r**e the mind to keep the body. Everybody deserves total health which comprises of both mind and body.
The above are the reasons why to me Ma********on is not good, and anyone involved needs to and can break it's hold. Believe me, it's possible, if you leverage on God's grace and follow very simple rules that I'll be discussing next week, you will break the control of ma********on over your life as a single or even married securing for yourself a healthy s*xual life. Shallom.
Till next week.

Your relationship coach - Tusky(Adetutu Oshofowora)

19/09/2016

*Some schools in Kolkata India sent this letter to the parents a few weeks before the exams..*
Dear Parents,
The exams of your children are to start soon. I know you are all really anxious for your child to do well.
But, please do remember, amongst the students, who will be sitting for the exams, there is an artist, who doesn't need to understand Maths.
There is an entrepreneur, who doesn't care about History or English literature.
There's a musician, whose Chemistry marks won't matter.
There's a sportsperson, whose physical fitness is more important than Physics..
If your child does get top marks, that's great! But, if he or she doesn't, please don't take away their self-confidence and dignity from them.
Tell them it's OK, it's just an exam! They are cut out for much bigger things in life.
Tell them, no matter what they score, you love them and will not judge them.
Please do this, and when you do, watch your children conquer the world. One exam or a low mark won't take away their dreams and talent.
And please, do not think that doctors and engineers are the only happy people in the world.
With Warm Regards,
The Principal.