The Blue Waffle

The Blue Waffle Parody page

Chat GPT (see below) is broken people please be careful when using it, it gave me the wrong feedback when I asked its op...
14/02/2026

Chat GPT (see below) is broken people please be careful when using it, it gave me the wrong feedback when I asked its opinion to review a recent drop fade I did, I have 25 years experience in the business so l know what I'm taking about.
I only went on to try make the husband look more feminine so I can bring myself to treat him in the bedroom for Valentine's Dav.
This fade didn’t drop — it fell down the stairs.

Calling this a drop fade is generous. What you’ve actually got here is a topographical map of the Norfolk coastline. You could navigate ships by those blend lines.

That fade’s got more steps than a council estate.
Skin → dark → darker → surprise ledge → mop.

The back looks like the barber started confidently, got distracted by a text, remembered halfway through he had a client, panicked, and just… walked away.

Behind the ear?
That’s not a blend — that’s cliff erosion.
The North Sea has done smoother transitions.

The neckline hasn’t been tapered, faded, or shaped — it’s been emotionally abandoned.
That nape is screaming “I’ll finish this at home, mate.”

And the redness…
That’s not “fresh fade burn”, that’s the scalp filing a complaint.

The top’s doing all the heavy lifting here like:

“Don’t look at the sides, don’t look at the sides, DON’T LOOK AT THE SIDES.”

This isn’t a haircut — it’s a before photo that accidentally got uploaded.



Final score:
• Blend: ❌
• Finish: ❌
• Confidence: ❌
• Nerve to post it: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

If this was my cut, I’d be:
• Wearing a hood
• Avoiding mirrors
• Blocking the barber
• Growing it out out of spite

Chat GPT (see comments) is broken people please be careful when using it, it gave me the wrong feedback when I asked its...
14/02/2026

Chat GPT (see comments) is broken people please be careful when using it, it gave me the wrong feedback when I asked its opinion to review a recent drop fade I did, I have 25 years experience in the business so I know what I’m taking about.
I only went on to try make the husband look more feminine so I can bring myself to treat him in the bedroom for Valentine’s Day.

First day in the new job…. Smashed it….
09/02/2026

First day in the new job…. Smashed it….

Thought we’d join the trend, don’t forget I’ll also be butchering hair back in my hometown of GY Catch me at the old sch...
08/02/2026

Thought we’d join the trend, don’t forget I’ll also be butchering hair back in my hometown of GY
Catch me at the old school Gentleman’s barber shoppe and keep your eyes peeled for my legendary reviews ✂️💈

Don’t forget For those of you who can't afford those big tattoo price tags, don't worry BigLezzerG has got you, she can ...
05/12/2025

Don’t forget For those of you who can't afford those big tattoo price tags, don't worry BigLezzerG has got you, she can recreate any other artists work for just £4.99

Did you know BigLezzerG is also taking bookings for portraits. So be it Marilyn, Madonna,Cher, Mum, Dad or Uncle Bob she...
05/12/2025

Did you know BigLezzerG is also taking bookings for portraits. So be it Marilyn, Madonna,Cher, Mum, Dad or Uncle Bob she’s got you covered for just £10
Book in today via the Fresha app and get a free skin fade included

04/12/2025

CV one

CV — BigLezzerG

Pronouns: She/Her
Professional Status: Chronically Unemployed but Always Booked & Busy
Current Objective: Seeking a role that values enthusiasm, reliability, and the ability to start (and win) a bar fight at short notice.



PROFILE

A bold, boisterous, butch powerhouse with a long and storied career across the public sector, hospitality, combat sports, and occasional recreational chaos. Renowned for commitment, charisma, and the ability to handle any situation using a combination of upper-body strength and inappropriate confidence.

Specialist Areas Include:
• Advanced flirting & “gentle-womanly persuasion”
• Creative problem-solving in dimly lit club toilets
• Energetic hand-based skillsets
• Kickboxing, street fighting, and mud-wrestling championships (self-awarded)
• Conflict resolution via presence alone
• Turning any situation into an anecdote no one will ever forget



WORK HISTORY

Prison Officer – HM Prison Service

(Sacked)
• Brought “unconventional management techniques” to the role.
• Accidentally became more popular with prisoners than management.
• Dismissed due to “excessive enthusiasm” during wing disputes.



The Gallon Pot – Owner/Manager

(Run into the ground)
• Oversaw rapid decline of business by implementing a “vibes over finances” strategy.
• Introduced Ladies’ Night every night — a bold but financially catastrophic decision.



Mixsmiths – Bar Staff

(Went bust — unrelated… allegedly)
• Responsible for creative cocktail inventions.
• The only employee who considered lock-ins a legal entitlement.



The Courtyard – General Manager

(Left following allegations of attempting to funnel funds into “another exciting business venture”)
• Developed “unique” accounting methods.
• Team morale excellent; financial governance less so.



P99 Security – Door Supervisor

(Lost licence for kung-fu enthusiasm)
• Took “minimum force” training as a personal insult.
• Known for performing high kicks no one asked

Hello people I’ve recently been thinking about venturing out into a new career and have come up with a couple of ideas f...
04/12/2025

Hello people I’ve recently been thinking about venturing out into a new career and have come up with a couple of ideas for resumes but can’t decide on the best, if I share with you each one in the comments could you pie the best one for me

For those of you who can’t afford those big tattoo price tags, don’t worry BigLezzerG has got you, she can recreate any ...
04/12/2025

For those of you who can’t afford those big tattoo price tags, don’t worry BigLezzerG has got you, she can recreate any other artists work for just £4.99

Meet the team 💈✂️
08/11/2025

Meet the team 💈✂️

A finger or a p***s we can do it all on temporary or a permanent basis. Fill your hole and get ink stamped with BigLezze...
03/11/2025

A finger or a p***s we can do it all on temporary or a permanent basis. Fill your hole and get ink stamped with BigLezzerG - the best barber, tattooist and minge eater in the world!

Address

Great Yarmouth

Website

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