10/09/2026
🚨 BREAKING: GERMAN PRESENCE IN MERIMBULA CONTINUES TO GROW 🇩🇪
Authorities are reportedly monitoring a significant increase in German activity around Merimbula, following reports that a vehicle carrying several kegs of German-style beer is heading towards the town.
The shipment is believed to be destined for the South Coast Tap House in the Galleria Arcade, where preparations for Oktoberfest have been underway for several weeks.
Witnesses have already reported suspicious quantities of blue-and-white bunting being delivered to the premises. There have also been unconfirmed reports of large quantities of Breadtzels being delivered.
The latest arrival of kegs is expected to significantly increase the German presence inside the Tap House, with intelligence suggesting the beer may include Helles, Märzen, Munich Dunkel and maybe even a Doppelbock.
When questioned about the operation, the Tap House "Kommandant" refused to confirm exactly how many kegs were involved, saying only:
“ We know nuzink! NUZINK!”
Investigators described the response as verrry interesting…, but attempts to obtain further information were unsuccessful.
Authorities say the situation is expected to escalate from 19 September, when Oktoberfest officially begins.
Members of the public are advised not to panic. However, anyone entering the Galleria Arcade over the coming weeks should be prepared to encounter bier, questionable German accents and increasingly frequent cries of “PROST!”
We will continue to monitor the situation. 🇩🇪🍻