23/12/2025
âTwas the night before Christmas, down at the old bar,
Not a creature was sober, not even the barman so far.
The glasses were lined on the counter with care,
In hopes that cold schooners soon would be there.
The regulars nestled on stools, tight and deep,
Dreaming of cold pots, hoping never to leave.
With a beer in my hand and a grin on my face,
Iâd settled right in for a long festive pace.
When out by the fire there rose such a cheer,
I spun round so fast, nearly spilled all my beer.
Away to the doorway I staggered to look,
And tripped on the dog that was tied to a hook.
The glow of the neon on wet barroom floor,
Gave a shine to the taps and the dents in the door.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a red-faced old bloke buying rounds full of cheer.
With a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly,
I knew in a momentâold Santa was steady.
More rapid than hangovers, the shout that he gave,
âSame again for the house, itâs Christmas, be brave!â
âNow Lager! Now Stout! Now Bitter and Ale!
On Whiskey! On Rum! Let the good times prevail!
To the end of the bar! To the back wall we crawl!
Now drink away! Drink away! Drink away all!â
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the loo,
The groan of a mate whoâd had one or two too few.
As I raised up my glass, and was turning around,
Santa nodded and vanishedâno trace to be found.
But I heard him exclaim as I sipped one last sip,
âMerry Christmas to all⊠and donât bloody drive, ya dip!â đ»đ