04/02/2016
Shannon 'Nollsy' Noll, a national hero and an icon for the flavour saver men of the early 2000s, is also ###X Gold Warrior #617.
Nollsy was born in Orange in the 70s some time. His parent really can't really remember either, after too many 19c pots of gold with a young Bob Hawke at the Metro Hotel, adding credibility to the rumours that Bob (###X Gold Warrior #88), is Nollsy's true father. Nollsy laid his roots in the NSW country town of Condobolin. This is where he started his journey to becoming a ###X Gold Warrior by having his first schooey of gold at 4 years, 2 months old. Over the next few years he finely tuned his craft of smashing Milton Mangoes until the catalyst of his Warriors transformation at 14. Nollsy's team, the U14 Condobolin Cattlemen Bs, won the GF by 119 to nil (101 points were Shannon's, waiving his mouthguard to the fans when he raised the ton). While celebrating the win 4 months later, Nollsy realised the team needed a team song, so Nollsy saw a guitar in corner of the pub and thought why the f**k not and ended up busting out one the greatest songs know to man, Working Class Man. Jimmy Barnes later covered the Noll classic.
This was it, Nollsy got his taste for music. Nollsy quickly realised that only he shredded like Hendrix and sung like Barnesy, especially whilst cooked on Golds, so that's just what he did for the rest of 90s, only touring in pubs in Australia that served ###X. Shannon smashed many records (not just birds) in his early touring days, including most Mangoes sunk n**e on the roof of the Birdsville Hotel, most publicans daughter roots during Beef Week '97 (17 and a half) and his early crowing glory – the first bloke to do a "guitarey",where he poured 6 schooners of gold into his guitar at a gig at the Chinchilla Melon Fest and skulled it whilst finishing the song.
With his star on the rise, one of the oldest and greatest Warriors, Slim Dusty, took him under his wing, not for music purposes but because he needed someone to cut p**s with on the RSL touring scene. Slim and Shannon's first weekend off the RSL Golds between '98 and '03 was due to Slim's untimely death in late 2003. Rumours are rife that Slim was poisoned by the di*****ds at VB because Slim was about to reveal the truth that VB is actually cat p**s, but that's a tale for another day.
After Slim's death and also the fact Shannon had played every RSL in Australia 7 times over, Nollsy needed a new challenge so he had a crack Aussie Idol. And didn't he kill it, breezing through to the final against some afro'd Shiraz drinking p**f. Needless to say, he smashed every bird in the Top 12 on their way out, including a weird 3-way with Marcia Hines and Paulini where they both wanted to put the Gold Dress on and take Nollsy for a Drive! The final has gone down in history as Australia's biggest instance of daylight robbery, ever! The truth of the matter is that Nollsy realised the winner had to sing at the Tooheys Christmas Party later that year, to which Nollsy said f**k that and threw an empty Tall-y at Dicko. In true Warrior form he nailed him, breaking his nose and lacerating the massive c**k on Dicko's head too. But Nollsy's star just kept on rising, even after coming second. The other thing on the grow was his flavour saver, which every man (and some women, not through choice though) started to replicate. The main reason he grew it was so he could always have the taste of ###X on his lips.
After years of success of touring around, including one big show at the Gympie Music Muster where he put one through Kasey Chambers backstage and then told her she wasn't pretty enough for this Music God, Nollsy decided to go back to his roots which was drinking RSL's dry of gold and giving back to the people, by only playing pubs ever again!
This is why Shannon 'Nollsy' Noll is a ###X Gold Warrior!
